


New beginnings

by Shinda85



Series: New beginnings [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 307 fix it, Angst, Clexa end game, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 18:48:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 37,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8501236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinda85/pseuds/Shinda85
Summary: Titus shoots Lexa. But lives. Clarkes takes her to Arcadia. Lexa is no longer commander. Kinda slow burn but clexa happy with some angst





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke watches Titus cut into the back of Lexas neck. she sobs as tears run down her face. She gasps as Titus says something in latin and something blue with tenticals is removed from Lexas neck.

"What is that?" Clarke asks 

"It's an A.I" Murphy says in awe

"Wrong. It is the spirit of the commander" Titus replays. He puts in into a little tin case with a skull on the front. He moves towards the bed ready to pick Lexa up and remove Lexa from the bed. Clarke reacts and shoulder charges Titus out of the way. She covers Lexas body with her own. She doesn't want to let Lexa go. She can't believe it just minutes ago she had left lexas room after being so intimate with her, now here she lays motionless near the woman who broke her heart then put it back together by simply being near her. She crys.

"Don't touch her! You stay the hell away from her" Clarke says through sobs as she wraps her arms around lexas waist

"Wanheda please I must take her body, the process of the conclave can not start until her body is burnt" he says quietly. She just ignores him and the images in her mind of Lexa being burnt. laying down on her side curled up into Lexa, She puts her face in the crook of her neck. Clarke can't stop the tears. All the could haves and should haves running through her mind holding on to Lexa wishing then none of this ever happened hoping that this is all just a nightmare and she will wake up in the security of Lexas warm embrace. She is shaken from her thoughts when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Clarke I know you cared for her but we have to go" Murphy says softly. She shrugs his hand off and holds Lexa tighter not ready to let her go. She squeezes her eyes shut and lays a soft kiss on Lexas neck and feels a beat. She sits up abruptly. She puts her fingers of her pulse point and feels another beat.

"She's alive!" Clarke yells she covers her bulletwound "get a healer" she tells Titus 

"Wanheda please just let her go" Clarke ignores him and looks at Murphy.

"Muphry come here" he moves over to the other side of Lexa, she directs him to take over the pressure of the wound. She spins around on Titus and moves right up to his face "get me a healer you idiot. She is still alive! You at least owe her that." He looks down at his feet

"Even if she is to live wanheda she will no longer be commander. She will be killed." Clarke shakes her head. Who would want to kill her she thinks.

"No. no look. I will take her back to Arcadia. Or we will go to trikru or something. I'll figure it out! Just get a healer!" She grabs his arm desperately "please Titus. Please" she pleads. He nods and runs out the door. He comes back with 4 healers. After an hour they manage to stop the bleeding remove the bullet and stitch her up. One of the healers approach Clarke. 

"Wanheda my name is trace kom trikru. Heda has lost a lot of blood. We do not know if she will live" Clarke sighs and looks up praying and begging what ever god or whatever is listening to her to please let her live. Titus moves to her side which makes her turn towards him. 

"Wanheda you have to leave" she pushed him and he stumbled backwards

"I am not leaving her Titus!" She growls he holds up his hands is surrender which makes her stop her advances towards him.

"I am suggesting you leave with her wanheda. I do not know where you will go or what you will do but if you want a chance I will give it to you. There is a woman who died recently. She is the same build as Lexa. Everyone will think it is her that is being burned. I'll have a wagon and horses waiting by the stables but know this wanheda, No commander has ever lived after the flame has been removed I do not know what effects it will have on leksa." If she wasn't so angry she would hug Titus grateful that he is seeing some sort of sense. She looks at Lexa then back to Titus and nods. "Follow me" Murphy carefully picks up Lexa and looks at Clarke

"Are we really doing this princess?" He drawls she walks over to them. She looks down at the limp form of her lover and runs her hand though her brown locks. She looks up at Murphy and speaks softly.

"Murphy is you don't want to come you don't have to but please help me get her to the stables." He rolls his eyes

"Ok princess"

...........................................

They manage to get to the stables without being seen by using the tunnels. It wasn't easy. Well mainly for Murphy cause he had to carry Lexa. When they arrive he places her gently in the wagon and lets out a groan. And stretches his back.

"What the hell is she made out of! By back is killing me" he complains. Clarke just rolls her eyes and moves over to Lexa to check her injury. Titus grabs Clarkes arm.

"I know you do not believe me wanheda but I truely thought I was protecting her. I will never forgive myself for this. You really care for her?" Clarke looks away not really sure if she wants to give Titus the satisfaction of an answer she looks back at him and sees glassy eyes.

"Yes Titus I do" 

"She might not feel the same for you if she lives" Clarkes looks at him shocked

"What?" She snapped

"Like I said wanheda no commander has ever lived without the flame. She is used to being in command, making the decisions, getting her own way and instead of letting her die peacefully she has to wake in a world where she is common, and she will most likely blame you" Clarkes is speechless. What Titus says makes sense but she knows maybe lexa will hate her. She shakes he head of the thoughts

"I don't care if she hates me as long is she is alive." He nods again

"You will need to come back wanheda for the conclave it starts a week after the fake body is burned. All ambassadors are required." 

"No I can't leave her Titus" 

"You will wanheda if you want skaikru to be taken seriously as part of the coalition."

"I do not want to watch someone else become commander Titus" Clarkes snaps

"Nor do I but it is our way, the choice is yours wanheda make the right one" Titus looks at Lexa one last time before he leaves.

"So what are you gonna do princess?" Murphy asks

"I'm going to take her to Arcadia so my mother can fix her" Murphy chuckles thinking that Clarke is joking. He stops when she doesn't laugh with him

"oh your serious!"

"Yes she needs to see my mother, I'll get her in and hide her. And fix this Pike problem then beg the new commander to let skaikru live. Again." Murphy shakes his head and chuckles 

"Ok princess let's go" he mounts his horse that is connected to the wagon. She looks up at him surprised. 

"Your coming?"

"Yeah I tend to go where I have the most chance of surviving and you princess seem to survive in any situation" she looks at him unconvinced, her looks back at her. "I want to help ok so just shut up lay down and sleep till we get there. She smiles at him

"Thank you" she says sincerely. He rolls his eyes

"Just another day on the ground princess" he drawls 

She gets in the wagon and lays on her side beside the commander. She kisses her on the cheek thinking about what Titus said 'no commander has ever lived after the flame has been removed'. Clarke lays her head on Lexas shoulder so her face is next to her. She looks at Lexa who looks Like she is at peace. She traces her jaw with her palm and stops at her lips. There is a bit of blood near her mouth, Clarkes uses her sleeve to wipe is off. She closes her eyes and she whispers into the fallen commanders ear.

"I hope you don't hate me Leksa but Hate me. Love me. Despise me. As long as your alive I don't care" she crys until she falls asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke is jolted awake when the wagon she is in hits a rock and shakes her and Lexa. She sits upright and looks to Murphy with a scowl on her face. He looks back at her and chuckles.

"Your awake. Good we are almost there princess" Clarke checks Lexas pulse and breathing. It's steady for now. She sits up and looks past Murphy and can see Arcadia in the distance. Murphy stops and gets off the horse to stand by the wagon. "Well what now princess" Clarke gets up out of the wagon and stretches. She thinks of what to do next. She rubs her temples trying to ease the headache she currently has.

"You need to go in there and get Octavia and my mother but do not let Bellamy or Pike know anything."

"Why me?" He complains. She rolls her eyes

"Please Murphy" she asks softly 

"You owe me princess" he walks away from her. The blockade should be up in a couple of hours now. She looks at Arcadia again. But instead of feeling longing or a sense of home she feels empty. She then looks towards Lexa who is still laying in the wagon motionless. At peace. She feels all the things she should feel whilst looking at Arcadia. It is then she realises that Lexa is her home. Where ever she is will feel like home. She sits beside Lexa and holds her hand. She wonders when she started to feel this way. She thinks back before the mountain. Clarke new that the first time she set her eyes on Lexa that she was special. She never thought though she would feel this way. She thinks back to their first kiss. She had never had a kiss that intense and full of passion. Full of trust. Clarke lays down beside Lexa and rest her head on her shoulder and sighs. 

"I'm going to fix this leksa. I promise" she says softly. Still exhausted from the days events she closes her eyes and falls asleep

........................

"Seriously!" Clarke jumps up and covers Lexas body on instinct. She looks towards the noise. "The commander Clarke? Really!" Octavia shouts. Before she can react she is embraced in a tight hug. 

"Honey, I'm so glad your safe" Abby says she looks at Clarke and can see that she has been crying. She was a bit shocked to say the least when Murphy informed her that Clarke and the commander have arrived together. He was very vague about it but what shocked her even more was to see Clarke cuddled up against the commander and jump to protect her. She thought Clarke hated Lexa for leaving her at the mountain. Even at the summit she seemed weary of the commander. 

"Mom we don't have time I need to get Lexa back to Arcadia so you can fix her" Abby walks to the wagon to check all of Lexas vitals.

"What happened?" Abby asks

"She was shot" Clarke responded while moving toward the wagon. "The healers in Polis did what they could mom but she needs you." She pauses and look up at her mother with glassy eyes "I need you" Abby can hear the how tired Clarke is. How broken. She nods 

"We don't have time for this Clarke leave her we have to deal with Pike you know he won't abide by the blockade. OUR people will be killed and that's all thanks to Lexa" Clarke snaps her head to Octavia and takes a deep breath. She can't lose control of her emotions right now Lexa needs her but what Octavia says hurts. She calmly moves towards Octavia 

"If you want my help Octavia you will help Lexa otherwise go float yourself!" Octavia scoffs.

"Maybe we don't need you princess!" Murphy laughs. "Is something funny"

"Yeah well what you just said was funny Blake. A joke right?"

"Fuck you Murphy!" Octavia growls. Clarke rolls her eyes.

"You will help us get into Arcadia Octavia. Or we will figure it out our selfs. I don't care but if your not here to help then leave!" Octavia turns her back on Clarke.

"Honey we need to move her now." Clarke nods and looks at Octavia

"Fine!" She throws her hands in the air. 

........................................

Octavia gets them into Arcadia using the vents. It's was hard to move Lexa around in such small spaces but they managed. Octavia got people she could trust to cause distractions while they moved into the med bay. Abby set up a bed in the corner and had sheets seperate Lexa from everyone else. With a Sign that says 'caution contagious' on it. Murphy was waiting outside on the lookout. Clarke was standing on one side of the bed while Abby was on the other. She got a syringe to take a sample of her blood to see what Lexa would need and gasp as the syringe filled with black blood

"Clarke what is this? I have never seen this before!" She said in awe

"All nightbloods have black blood" Abby still looking at the blood shocked

"Honey if we can't find a match I don't know if she will make it" Abby says sadly knowing that her daughter has feelings for the commander. Clarke looks at her and Abby can tell she is trying to hold back her emotions. "I'll test it and see what it comes back as" Clarke nods. And sits down beside Lexa and takes her hand.

................................

When Abby returns about an hour later she see Clarke has not moved. She is staring at the commander with her head resting on Lexas arm.

"Honey you will not believe this" Clarke sits up straight "she has all blood types!"

"What" Clarke looks puzzled

"Yes I know she has all blood types. It's very strange." Clarke stands up

"Take mine and give it to her" she holds up her arm to Abby. Abby doesn't argue she gets the transfusion kit ready. She hooks a heart monitor up to Lexa as well as pump her full of antibiotics incase she gets an infection from the gun shot wound. Clarke sits down beside Lexa and looks at her intensely again. She feels good knowing she is helping Lexa in someway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In comes Raven!

Clarke is sitting in the med bay 2 hours after She gives Lexa her blood. Still no change. Abby comes and stands behind her and puts her hands on Clarkes shoulders. Sensing the stress her daughter is under.

"Honey She's stable" Clarke leans back against her mother and sighs 

"She should be awake by now mom" 

"She's lost a lot of blood Clarke it's a miracle she made it this far although I'm certain it has something to do with her blood." Clarke looks up at her mother waiting for a explanation. "I believe her blood has helped keep her alive. I don't know how honey but honestly from what you have told me and the journey here she should be dead. Any other person would be dead" she feels Clarke tense up at the mention on death. 

Clarke leans forward on The bed and plays with Lexas fingers. She kisses each knuckle. 

Murphy crashes into the room

"Incoming!" Abby closes the curtains around the bed and tells Clarkes to get on the bed as well.

"Abby! You took me off duties!" Raven barges in. 

"Raven it's just you" Abby let's out a sigh of relief. Raven looks around pissed about being made useless by Abby who she thought was a friend. 

"Yeah it's me! What the hell abby!" Clarke decides to show herself cause Raven is causing a scene and she can't have people snooping around the Med bay. She walk out of the closed off area. Raven stops in shock and smiles

"Clarke!" She limps over to her friend and holds her in a tight embrace.

"Raven" Clarke says as she eases into the embrace it feels good to see Raven again. She is such a loyal and understanding friend. 

"What the hell griffin you get back and don't come see me? Seriously!" Clarke try's to smile but can't. She is sad and tired. Raven sees this. "Hey. What's wrong" Raven asks softly. Clarke leads her behind the curtain. Raven stops and lets out a gasp "what the hell" she looks up at Clarke 

"She is hurt" Raven rolls her eyes

"Yeah no shit griffin. How? why? what the fuck?" Clarke sits down and puts her head in her hands. Raven turns to Abby 

"Abby can you give us a minute" Abby nods "and don't think we are done with this conversation!" she yells after her. Raven pulls up a chair beside Clarke 

"Ok spill it princess" Clarke chuckles as tears run down her face. Raven puts her hand on her back trying to sooth her friend 

"Hmmm well let's see. Lexa was shot at by a person who was trying to shoot me. That person pulled an A.I out of her neck and said it was the spirit of the commander no longer making her the commander. I thought she had died but by some miracle she didn't so I had to beg the person that shot her to let healers help her. I had to have Murphy help get us here. Had to listen to Octavia judge me. I gave Lexa my blood but she still isn't awake and I have to be back in Polis in 2 damn days for the burning of the fake body and I have to try and deal with this Pike shit whilst keeping Lexa hidden oh and yeah she might hate me when she wakes up!" Clarke finishes talking and leans into Raven. Raven wraps her up in a side hug

"Wow sounds like you've been busy Griffin" Clarke laughs

"What the hell am I going to do Raven" Clarkes shoulders slump in defeat.

"I have no idea but I know you will figure it out. You always do princess." Clarke nods "now to the juicy stuff!" Clarke looks up at her with a eyebrow raised "you and Lexa? Damn!" Clarke laughs again. And wipes the tears off her face. Raven smirks "so cmon I have to know. Is she a top or a bottom?" Clarke hits Raven on the shoulder and smiles

"I am not talking about this Raven" she can feel the heat on her face and turns away. Raven laughs.

"Do you love her" Raven asks in a serious tone. Clarke looks away and doesn't answer giving Raven the answer she needed without really saying anything. 

They both hear the door open and stand frozen in place. Clarke has her gun ready incase it's Pike. The curtains are drawn back by Octavia. Raven and Clarke let out a sigh of relief.

"Fuck O announce yourself next time!" Octavia rolls her eyes and looks at Clarke

"I helped you get her in now it's time to do your job!" Octavia snaps. Raven looks between them both. 

"What's with you o" Raven asks. Before Octavia can respond Clarke cuts in.

"It doesn't matter Raven, Octavia tonight we will move Lexa into Ravens room and then we will talk. Octavia rolls her eyes and stomps out of the med bay to make preparations.

"Hey do I get a say in all of this" Raven asks

"Raven you and mom are the only ones I trust with her. Please just do this for me" Clarkes pleads

"I don't even like her princess"

"You don't know her Raven. Please just do this. For me" Raven can see the desperation in Clarkes eyes. 

"Ok"


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke was sitting in ravens room with Abby waiting for Octavia and Murphy to bring in Lexa. She still hasn't woken up and she has to leave in a day. Abby looks at her daughter and can clearly see she is in distress. She sits next to Clarke on the bed and places her hand on her knee.

"Talk to me honey" Clarke looks away from Abby not wanting to talk bout how scared and nervous she is. "It's me Clarke you can tell me anything" she looks back at her mother. 

"Mom.. I ... there's.... she..." she let's out a deep breath.

"Breathe honey" Abby says gently and squeezes her knee.

"I have to leave in a day to go to Polis. Lexa still hasn't woken up. I'm worried she might freak out when she wakes up and I'm not here. I'm worried about a lot of things. Who the next commander will be. This Pike stuff. And jaha stuff. Lexa?" She lays back on the bed. And covers her face with her hands.

"Your right she might freak out so I have an idea" Clarke sits up. "Has Lexa seen you draw?" Clarke nods "why don't you leave her a drawing and a letter also you can take a radio." 

"Yeah mom that's actually a great idea!" She smiles and and side hugs her mother. 

Raven burst into the room. She stands at the door with her hands on her hip.

"Princess tell your mother I'm not a useless cripple!" Clarke let's go of her mother and Gives her a stern look.

"I'm just worried about you Raven" Abby says sincerely but before Raven can argue Murphy and Octavia come in with Lexa in Murphy arms. He puts her on the bed and Abby starts attaching the monitor and drips.

"Seriously princess" Murphy says while stretching "she is so heavy! What is she made out of" Clarke smiles at him and shakes his head. Octavia glares at Clarke the impatiently interrupts. 

"Ok Clarke she is in this room. She is safe at least until she wakes up now tell us what your plan is?" Octavia says. Clarke stands up and walks up to Octavia

"You know Octavia I'm getting real tired of your attitude!" Clarke hisses. Murphy chuckles and Raven steps between them

"Hey come on we don't have time for this" Raven says

"Your right we don't I have to leave for Polis tomorrow. I need Pike. I need to bring him to Polis to show the coalition that we mean no harm." 

"How do you expect us to do that" Octavia says

"Knock him out and drag him there for all I care Octavia figure it out" Clarke walks towards Lexa. Octavia scoffs 

"And I suppose while you are living it up in Polis you want us to keep your girlfriend alive" Clarke stops frozen in place. She clenches her firsts. She turns around and walks right up to Octavia so she is in her face and pushes her. Octavia back hits the door. Raven jumps between them before a fight can break out. Murphy looks amused while Abby looks confused. 

"Every damn thing I have done since we landed has been for the good of skaikru. I have given my heart. My soul my damn sanity to you people" she stops and looks at every person in the room. "I have asked for nothing! NOTHING!" She yells.Abby comes up behind her and places her hands on her shoulders trying to calm her daughter. "But now I am asking you" she looks at Raven and Octavia. "I'm begging you" she says as tears start rolling down her cheeks "look after her. Please!" She begs "I HAVE to leave for Polis tomorrow and not because I want to Octavia because I have to. Cause believe me when I say IF I had a choice I would stay here. With her" she looks to Lexa "but I don't, I don't even know if I'll come back alive" everyone in the room tenses up "and I don't even know what I'll be coming back to" she points at Lexa "so if I mean anything to either of you, you will do as I ask" Clarke shakes her head and shrugs off her mothers hand to sit by Lexas side. She runs her fingers through Lexas locks. The whole room goes silent. Raven moves as quickly as she can and sits beside Clarke and wraps her in a tight hug from behind. She crys. 

"Don't you worry Griffin I'll take care of her ok!" Clarke turns towards Raven "I will make her love it here. You might get a bit jealous griffin with my charm she just might fall for me!" Raven beams. Clarke chuckles. Octavia stands beside a seated Clarke and puts her hand on Clarkes shoulder.

"Yeah don't worry princess we will both take care of her. You just worry about coming back ok?" Clarke nods then starts crying hard. Realising that she has to leave Lexa. And that she won't get to be there for her when she wakes up to her new life. She crys knowing there is a big possibility that Lexa might not even want her around and that breaks her heart. Abby rushes to Clarke and kneels in front of her. She hugs her. 

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Listen. We will take care of her ok?" Abby says through her own tears "don't you worry, you will have a radio. And you will do what we discussed" Clarke nods. 

Murphy though all of this stands awkwardly in the room. He doesn't do well with feelings. But he feels for Clarke. He walks to her 

"Look this is nice and all" they all look to him "I suggest we get Pike, and let our princess here get some rest, we have a long trip tomorrow"

"We?" Clarke says

"Yeah. We. I have to get back to Polis as well princess." She nods they all leave to make further plans to capture Pike.

The bed Lexa is on is big enough for 2. So she lays down gently beside Lexa and lays her head on her chest and lets her heartbeat put her to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

After leaving Clarke and Lexa in Ravens rooms, Octavia and Raven make way to Ravens work station. 

"So how are we going to do this" Octavia asks Raven

"Whoa whoa whoa first things first. What is up with the hostility between you and Clarke?" Raven has noticed how much resentment is between her and Octavia but she knows most of the hate is coming from Octavia. 

"Now is not the time Raven I told her I'd protect her little girlfriend didn't I!" Octavia snaps

"First of all there is nothing little bout Lexa! Second of all how are we suppose to work together with you so angry O? What's going on?" Octavia takes a deep breathe. 

"Clarke let the missiles fall in ton dc Raven. And I understand why ok I get it but what I don't get is why she didn't tell me? Why? I thought we were friends. I almost died. She almost let me die" Octavias voice cracks. Raven gets up and places her hand on Octavia arm offering comfort. "Then Lexa left us to die on that mountain. And now we are in charge of making sure she lives!" Octavia throws her hands up in the air "and after she put a blockade on Arcadia!" Octavia growls in frustration. "Stupid Pike has locked up all the grounders that came here seeking medical help including Lincoln! My brother has lost his damn mind! He helped kill 300 unarmed sleeping warriors! And I'm pregnant!" Octavia hits the table infront of her. Raven looks at Octavia wide eyes and mouth open. 

"What?" She says stupidly even though she knows what Octavia just admitted too

"Yeah I'm pregnant ray" Octavia says softly. She sits down at the work bench and Raven sits down next to her. 

"Ok. Ok look I'm gonna say stuff now and you are going to listen ok?" Octavia nods. "Ok. O. You can not blame Clarke for everything. The decisions she has had to make I wouldn't wish on anyone. She had to make a split second decision in regards to ton dc. And god forbid anything happen to you she would had to have lived with that. And that wouldn't have been easy for her. You know as well as I do that she has a big heart and yes Lexa did leave us to die. But I guess like Clarke she has the weight on the world on her shoulders. If she cares for Clarke making that choice would not have been easy. After everything that Clarke has done I think she deserves a break yeah? Like I don't know Lexa but I know Clarke and I can see how much she loves Lexa. She looks at her the way you look a Lincoln and the way I used to look at Finn. She deserves some happiness Octavia even if it from someone we don't like. And Bellamy is hurting he loved Gina. And Pike is crazy and oh my god your pregnant!" Octavia laughs."does Lincoln know?" Octavia shakes her head"hmm ok so this is what you have to do. You have to talk to Clarke, let her know how your feeling but first let's get this Pike shit out of the way and then you have to tell Lincoln!" she claps her hands together. Octavia stands up

"Ok, so this is what I'm thinking we get Abby to get him to come to the med bay. We drug him and take him out load him in the rover then Clarke and Murphy can be on their way"

"Sounds like a plan to me!" They both left to find Abby 

 

......................................

Abby is standing in the med bay while Octavia and Raven hide in a supply closet she is nervous about the plan Octavia and Raven have come up with. She sighs. She's tired. And stressed. stressed for the people in Arcadia and most of all stressed for Clarke. Poor Clarke. So much responsibility sit on her shoulders. Her thoughts are disrupted when Pike walks into the room alone.

" you called for me dr griffin?" Abby stands up and walks towards the cabinets that holds all the drugs directs Pike over to her so his back is facing the supply cabinet. 

"Yes I need to let you know that we are running low on supplies. I believe the grounders can be of help when it comes to medicine actually I think we could help each other." Pike laughs but before he can respond Raven carefully munovers herself out of the closet and sticks the needle in his neck. Pike hits the ground instantly. They all let out a sigh of relief.

"That's part one of the plan done" Raven says 

"I'll go let Clarke know" Abby says she starts walking towards the door but is stopped by Octavia 

"Actually doc do you mind if I go tell the princess please" Abby nods 

............................................

When Octavia reaches Ravens room she walks in gently. She quietly shuts the door behind her and turns toward the bed. Clarke is lying on her side facing Lexa her hand is wrapped around her waist and her head is resting on Lexas chest and she is crying. Octavia can't help but feel sad for her but she blames that on her hormones. 

"Hey" Octavia clears her throat. Clarke turns slowly toward Octavia sits up and wipes the tears from her eyes. She's so angry at Clarke but feels for her at the same time. "It's done, your mom and Raven are moving Pike to the rover" Clarke nods and wipes more tears from her eyes. Octavia rolls her eyes and sits down next to her "I thought we could talk before you leave" 

"I don't want to argue O" Clarke says quietly

"Neither do I but I need to get this off my chest or it's gonna drive me nuts!" Clarke thinks it over then nods. "You let bombs drop on me Clarke. You were suppose to be my friend and you let bombs drop on me" Clarke looks at Octavia trying to hold back her tears

"I'm sorry Octavia. I'm sorry. What else was I suppose to do? Please tell me what you would have had me do? It was either warn everyone about the bomb and let all of our friends die including Bellamy or the people in ton dc? Tell me what would you have done. I came into ton dc I informed Lexa we left and before we could even blink the missile hit. So enlighten me O, you seem to judge me for all of my doing but honestly tell me what you would have done." Octavia looks down at the floor. 

"I would have warned you" she says quietly. Clarke sighs

"Octavia if I had of told you you would have told everyone then Bellamy's cover would have been blown."

"Ok then I would have caused a distraction! Anything!" Octavia starts raising her voice but Clarke just shakes her head.

"There was no time Octavia, I'm sorry I hope one day you can understand that I have only ever done what has been best for us" Clarke says through a cracked voice 

"And keeping Lexa here that's best for us" Clarke looks at Octavia in the eyes chin up in the air 

"No. thats for me. Thats for her." She says with not a waver in her voice. So clear and determined that in throws Octavia back and all she can do is nod.

"What did you mean before when you said you didn't know what you would be coming back too" 

"She might hate me O" 

"Why?"

"Because I won't be here when she wakes up. She won't be the commander any more. She is in a place she knows nothing about."

"And that's your fault?" Clarke wipes more tears for her eyes 

"Yeah" Octavia doesn't believe that but by the looks of Clarke she doesn't want to talk to her. 

"I'm pregnant" Octavia announces softly. Clarke smiles. She holds Octavias hand and squeezes it.

"Congratulations O" Clarke said sincerely. Octavia smiles back at her. She might not understand all the decisions that Clarke has made but they are friends. Most likely for life. She stands up.

"Ok let's go princess. Everything should be set up now." Clarke looks at Lexa sadly. "Me and Raven meant what we said yesterday Clarke. You have my word" Clarke nods. She leans down and softly kisses Lexa on the lips. She takes off her dads watch and puts it on Lexas. She leans down and whispers in her ear.

"I will be back leksa whether you hate me or not, I'll always return to you." She gives Lexa one last kiss looks at Octavia 

"Let's go"


	6. Chapter 6

When Clarke and Octavia reach the rover Murphy is sitting in the drivers side with lazily has his arm out the window and looking bored. Raven is in the back securing Pike to make sure he can't escape when he wakes up. And Abby is standing nervously. 

"Ok so Pike is all secured, he won't be getting out any time soon" Raven says proudly.

"Great work ray" Clarkes says. Raven makes her way to Clarke and hugs her.

"You got this Clarke" Clarke smiles. "I meant what I said about looking after lexa" Clarke wipes a tear from her eye and nods. Abby swoops in for a hug

"Honey are you sure about this?" Abby asks while squeezing Clarke. She really didn't want to let her go. Clarke chuckles 

"No I'm not mom but what choice do we have?" She shrugs

"You could stay here" she tries to reason

"No mom I can't" Clarke says while shaking her head. Abby looks at her and kisses her of the forehead 

"I love you be safe"

"I love you too mom" Clarke walks to the passenger side door to get in but is held back by Octavia. Octavia clears her throat. She hugs Clarke then let's her go. Clarke looks at her and smiles.

"I'm happy for you O, I'm going to go to Polis and make everything right for all of us" Clarke says with a crack in her voice. 

"I know princess. Just come back in one piece" 

"I'll try" she smiles then climbs into the front seat. She looks at Murphy.

"Ready princess" he drawls

"No but let's go" he nods and starts the car. They make their way to the blockade

.................................

The rover stops at the blockade. Clarke and Murphy exit the car and make their way to the blockade. Warriors block the path with raised spears. Indra makes her way past the warriors

"Wanheda"

"Indra. We have pike in the back of the rover. He was the one who orchestrated the attack of the peace keeping force. It was under his rule that 300 innocent people were killed" Indra nods

"Bring him forward wanheda so I can see" she looks at Murphy and Murphy rolls his eyes

"Why do I have to do all the heavy lifting?" He makes his way to the back of the rover and pick up Pike under his shoulder and drags him to Indra. He drops him at her feet.

"Indra?" Clarke says softly "can I speak to you privately" Indra looks up from pikes unconscious body. 

"teik em" she directs the warriors. She looks to Clarke then walks by her to stand near the rover. 

"I have to get to Polis Indra. I'm sure you have heard by now" Indra nods.

"Is she safe wanheda?" 

"Yes. How did you know she was alive?" Indra laughs. It throws Clarke off a bit having never seen the warrior even smile before

"I knew heda could never be killed by a mere skaikru weapon. It would take a lot more to kill her and I also know that your stubbornness would not let her die." Clarke grins "are you sure she is safe in there" Indra says as she looks towards Arcadia. Clarke sighs

"Yes. I trust Octavia and Raven. They both gave me their word that they would look out for her" Indra smiles

"She will not make it easy" 

"Does she ever?" Clarke laughs. 

"You better be on your way. The funeral pyre will start tomorrow."

Clarke and Murphy get in the car and make their way to Polis. Clarke looks at the side mirror and sees Arcadia getting smaller the further away they get. She sighs and rests her head back on the chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think


	7. Chapter 7

The rover stops at the gates of Polis. Clarke sighs and looks to Murphy.

"You ready he asks" she rolls her eyes

"As ready as I'll ever be. Look Murphy you don't have to be here if you don't want to"

"Sick of me already princess?" Murphy smirks

"Kind of" she lifts one eyebrow and grins. "You have done more then enough and I honestly don't know what's going to happen when we enter. I don't know if the new commander will accept us. I just don't know Murphy" she rubs her eyes. She's so tired 

"Look I can't go back to Arcadia. I have someone I have to see" Clarke looks up curiously at Murphy waiting for a further explanation. He looks away from her and mumbles

"A woman" 

"I'm sorry what?" Clarke said even though she heard him. He clears his throat and rolls his eyes 

"A woman. Her name is Emori" Clarke smiles

"Yeah I heard you" she smirks at him "do you love her?" He shrugs

"Maybe"

"Maybe?, ok look if your going to come in with me can you please just do what I ask without complaining?" He rolls his eyes

"Well I will when you stop making me carry heavy ass commanders around that are all muscle!" Clarke laughs. Murphy laughs as well

"Let's go then."

....................................

 

Titus greets them at the tower

"Wanheda"

"Titus" Clarke replys 

"I'll take you to your room" Titus leads Clarke and Murphy to the her room. She stops at the door. 

"Get me another room Titus I can't be in this one" Clarke says as she looks at the bed where Lexa was bleeding out. He looks at her

"This is the only one available wanheda." She huffs and puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head up.

"How are you still alive?"

"There is only one flamekeeper. Once the ascension happens the new commander will choose my fate. Does she live?" Clarke rolls her eyes

"Yes" she says clenching her jaw. She really doesn't want to talk to Titus it's all his fault.

"Good" he say sincerely. Clarke can see all the tension leave his body at the news.

"What does the conclave consist of?" 

"The nightbloods will go through a series of tests. Some may die" Clarke stares at him with her mouth opened 

"They are just children Titus! How can you condone this?" She says shocked

"It is our way" he said in an even tone

"Well fuck your way" Murphy says "even I think that's all types of fucked up!"

"Think what you will it will not change what will happen" Clarke shakes her head.

"This is wrong!" Says Clarke. 

There is a knock at the door and Clarke opens it and is greeted by roan

"Well well well if it isn't the king of Azgeda." He grins

"Wanheda" he looks to the person beside him. It's ontari. "You know ontari"

"No not really and I don't really care too, are you both here for a reason?" Clarke asks impatiently. Ontari glares at Clarke while roan chuckles.

"Is that really the way to talk to your future heda, wanheda?" Ontari snaps

"Aden will be the next commander" she replies. Ontari laughs 

"He is nothing but a child"

"Yes but he was trained by Lexa. Lexa beat roan in the fight to death and she killed nia. If you were any match for Lexa your queen would have put you against Lexa now wouldn't have she? Aden will win because Lexa didn't teach him how to lose" that wiped the smile of Ontaris face. Roan just looked amused. 

"When I win every single skaikru member will die. I'll burn Arcadia to the ground all clans will bow to azgeda. And wanheda will become my pet" 

"Good thing you aren't going to win then" she smirks and closes the door in Ontaris face. When she turns around Murphy is laughing so hard he falls to the ground. Titus Look unamused

"That was not wise wanheda" 

"Maybe not. We need to come up with a plan. Aden needs to win. Lexa wanted him to and you know it, if ontari wins she will ruin all that Lexa built!" 

"I agree wanheda but like I said there is nothing I can do"

"Well we can" she says. He sighs In defeat

"Just don't let anyone catch you" he walks out the door.

...............................................

Murphy is sleeping on the bed and Clarke is lying on the lounge chair not being able to sleep where Lexa almost died. She is clutching the radio to her chest afraid to make contact with Raven incase Lexa is there and doesn't want to talk to her. It hurts her. She finds the courage after 2 hours of starring at the ceiling.

"Raven come in Raven are you there" there's no answer. "Raven? Octavia?" 

"Yeah I'm here griffin" replied Raven. Clarke takes a deep breath. 

"I was worried when u didn't answer" 

"No need to worry was just a bit occupied" 

"Ok. Is she awake Raven?" Clarke asks quietly. There's silence for a minute "Raven?"

"Yeah princess she's awake" Clarke sits up quickly 

"Can I talk to her?" More silence "Raven"

"Ah she's a bit busy at the moment princess" Clarke looks puzzled 'busy' what could Lexa be busy doing in Arcadia? 

"What? Raven is she ok? What are you talking about she is busy, she was shot! Is she in danger?" 

"Hold on Griffin" She hears a struggle and then a door slam.

"Raven what the hell is going on" Clarke is almost in tears 

"Clarke um she doesn't want to talk right now" Raven says regretfully. Then the realisation hit Clarke like a tonne of bricks she lays back down on the chair and squeezes her eyes shut.

"You mean she doesn't want to talk to me" she says through the radio with tears running down her face. She sniffles and wipes her nose.

"I'm sorry Clarke" Clarke shakes her head and wipes the tears from her eyes. She takes a deep breath and stops her tears from flowing before she responds

"Did you give her my letter and the drawing?" 

"Yeah I did princess" it obviously made no difference. Lexa is hurting and she blames Clarke.

"Ok. Well um" Clarke is lost for words. She starts crying again.

"Hey hey princess you there? Look I know your there an you can hear me ok. Give the raccoon a day or too, I'll make sure she talks to you if I have to HOLD HER DOWN AND SHOVE IT IN HER FACE!" 

"Why are you yelling and raccoon?"

"No reason. And her war paint reminds me of a raccoon. Look everything is fine here, Kane is chancellor and people seem to be listening for now. Bellamy is still a dick but good news is he has found someone else to put all his over bearing protectiveness on?" Clarke laughs through her tears

"Yeah who?"

"Octavias unborn child" Raven laughs. "As you can imagine o is just thrilled!" Clarke smiles

"I'm sure." 

"I gotta go griff I'll talk to you same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah"

Clarke lays on her side and falls asleep crying. Murphy having been waken up by the discussion walked over to the chair and put a blanket on Clarke then went back to the bed to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Octavia stands beside Kane and Abby as they address Arcadia. Bellamy and pikes followers are standing at the front of the crowd. And Raven is in her room watching over Lexa. 

"People of Arcadia there has been an incident that you all must be aware of. When you all elected Pike chancellor he took it upon himself to kill 300 grounders that were sent here to protect us" the crowd starts to murmur. Kane waits till the murmurs die down. "They were a peace keeping force, they consisted not of warriors but local villagers who volunteered to help us against queen nia. She was the queen of azgeda one of in the clans in the coalition she is also the one who orchestrated the attack on mount weather killing our people most from farm station" 

"They all deserve to die! They were going to attack!" Yells montys mother. The crowd starts talking amongst themselves 

"Do you have proof that they were going to attack Hannah?" Asks Abby

"Don't need proof they are savages!" She yelled. Abby shook her head

"No you are the savage you and Pike and your followers. You killed them when they slept. They were unarmed!" Octavia yells. Kane put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. 

"Where is Pike? Kane and Abby are no longer in charge!" Yells Hannah.

"No Charles is no longer chancellor he gave up that right after the massacre he created outside these walls" Kane says Hannah goes to talk again but is cut off by Octavia

"Enough!" She yells. Hannah was thrown back because of the fierceness in her voice.

"People of Arcadia. We are new to earth. The grounders have been here for 100 years that's 100 years more then us. If we want to be part of this world now we have to learn to live together. No more wars. No more fighting. The commander offered us this when she made us the 13th clan. We can trade, we can learn how to hunt. We have so much to learn from one another. If we keep going the way we are going we will all be killed and I'm not just talking about us. Them too" the crowd is quiet.

"Won't the commander want us dead after what Pike did?" Asked Monroe

"The coalition wanted Pike. Even after what Pike did the commander did not attack. She created a blockade to give us time to organise our selfs." Bellamy stepped forward

"Why would she do that?" He asked suspiciously

"Cause she wants peace big brother" responds Octavia. Kane nods his head

"Yes she does" Bellamy scoffs

"She left us to die at that mountain" a lot of people started nodding in agreement. Abby stepped forward.

"You are right Bellamy she did. I don't presume to know anything about commander Lexa. But I know my daughter as do the rest of you. She told me that at the time we were only in a peace treaty with the commander which I might add she kept intact since the mountain. We were not her people she had a chance to get her people out without bloodshed. The grounders have been traumatised by the mountain men for 100 years she did what any good leader would do. But know this. We are part of the coalition now. We are her people. We would be protected, Clarke trusts the coalition and I trust Clarke" the crowd goes quiet.

"So you just handed Pike over to the savages!" Snaps Hannah. Kane stepped down from platform and walked directly over to pikes followers. He walked right up to Hannah. 

"Yes" he replied simply. He took the gun from Hannah and the guards disarmed the rest of pikes followers. "And if you don't like that then you can leave. There is a kill order though on any sky person to cross the blockade" All pikes followers looked scared. Monty stepped forward and spoke.

"I trust Clarke with my life" he addressed the crowd. "She has saved us all on more then one occasion. If she says we should trust the commander and be part of the coalition then we should" the crowd nodded in approval. Hannah glared at her son. "I'm sorry for what happened to dad mom. But not all the grounders are bad. That's like saying that if a one of us makes a mistake then we all have to die. From what Lincoln has told us the ice nation are cruel as was their queen"

"Yes that's right Monty and the commander killed queen nia for what she did" adds Abby. Octavia walks towards the crowd

"You don't have to trust them straight away and we are not asking you too. We are asking you to trust Clarke, she hasn't steered us wrong before"

"Yeah she's right!" Yells Monroe 

"Clarke is trustworthy!" Yells another 

"Pike is crazy!" Yells another

Kane smiles. "I'm glad most of us are in agreement. I'll keep you all updated" The crowd slowly starts leave, Bellamy is the only one who remains behind. Kane turns to his loyal guards. "My first act as chancellor is to free the grounders who have been imprisoned" he looks to Octavia "Octavia can you go with them please" knowing that there is no place she would rather be. She smiles at him and lunges herself into his arms. He gives her a warm embrace. Bellamy looks on with guilt written on his face. Octavia runs off with the other guards. " Abby I believe there is someone you have to check on" she nods and leaves. It's just him and Bellamy now. Bellamy avoids his gaze. He looks anywhere but the disappointed look on Kane's face. Bellamy broke the silence

"I just did what I thought was right" still not looking at Kane.

"No Bellamy. You didn't. You did what you did because you felt guilty for Ginas death. You asked her to stay and you blamed yourself but when you couldn't blame yourself anymore you blamed them. Pike used your grief and turned it in to anger and Pike fed off that. In the process you lost respect from a lot of your friends. You lost yourself. You lost Octavia" tears started running down his face. Kane moved forward but Bellamy put his hand on his chest to keep him away but Kane just moved his hand and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Bellamy stood there frozen. Then after a minute he wrapped his arms around Kane and tightly held on to his shirt why he cried. He cried for Gina and for his sister. He cried for all the people that pike killed. He cried cause he helped. Kane put his hand on the back of Bellamy head and looked him directly in his eyes. "It is never too late Bellamy. Never. You can get it all back. Trust me. Bellamy looked at him and saw nothing but sincerity. He nodded. He trusts Kane. He has always trusted Kane's judgment. He trusts Kane like he trust Clarke and Octavia and Raven. He trusts him and he let him down. He let them all down. He steps back from Kane

"Now what" he asks softly

"Now you start to earn back the trust you once had" Kane pointed towards Octavia and Lincoln. Lincoln has the biggest smile on his face and tears in his eyes he picks Octavia up and spins her around. Bellamy takes in a deep breathe and starts to make his way towards them.

When he gets close Octavia stops smiling and looks at Bellamy. She shakes her head. Lincoln looks at him with anger in his eyes he walks up to Bellamy and punches him in the face. He hits the dirt. Lincoln holds out his hand to Bellamy. Bellamy looks up to him and sees a lot of the anger has disappeared from his eyes. He grabs his hand and Lincoln helps him up. He looks at both of them

"I'm sorry" he says softly. Lincoln nods but Octavia just stares at him. She sees a Broken man. She isn't used to Bellamy being so vulnerable. As he starts to walk away she calls out to him

"Wait!" He stops and turns around "we have some news" she looks to Lincoln to get his approval to tell her brother about the pregnancy. Lincoln nods in confirmation "I'm pregnant" his eyes go wide and his jaw drops. He moves forward towards Octavia. He looks at his sister, now gone was the little girl he used to protect. Infront of him stood a woman a strong woman. A soon to be mother. A warrior in her own ways. He can see that she doesn't need his protection any more. He finally sees what everyone else around him has been seeing and the realisation makes him drop to his knees in front of her. He reaches out to touch her stomach. Octavia let's him. He feels the bump that is there. It's small but he can feel it. He smiles as tears rolls down his face. Octavia puts her hand on his head. She smiles down to him. He grabs her and cuddles her waist.

"O! I'm so happy for you" he looks to Lincoln who is smiling. "For both of you" he stands up and puts his hands on her shoulders "i know you hate me right now and you have every right too but I would really like to be part of your life. Of your baby's life. I'll be the best uncle in the world O! I'll babysit when ever you want, I will teach him history! I'll play sports with him or her I'll help when the baby is sick! I'll do anything you want. I'll protect this baby with all that I have and all that I am O!" Lincoln steps forward and puts his hand on his shoulder. 

"I have no doubt Bellamy kom skaikru" Bellamy let's go and hugs Lincoln and lifts him off the ground. 

Kane watches from a distance and smiles.


	9. Chapter 9

Raven is sitting in her room tinkering with one the the radios. She opted to stay with lexa while Kane and Abby did their thing. Abby said she would come by after to check on lexa. It's late afternoon now.

"Hmnh" Raven quickly turns around to look at lexa. Lexa is starting to wake up.

 

..........................

Lexa tries to open her eyes but they feel heavy. She can also feel a pain in her abdomen. He tries touch it but winces when she moves. Slowly she starts to see the room around her. She can her a constant beeping noise. She tries to look towards the noise but her head is pounding. She doesn't recognise anything that she is seeing she starts to panic and the beeping noise is getting faster. She has to get out of here where ever here is. She starts thinking of how she got here. Where was the last place she was. She tries to sit up

"Whoa whoa whoa. Stop right there raccoon!" Lexa snaps her head to the unknown voice. Her vision is still blurry. She tries to wipe the sleep from her eyes so she can see better. After a couple of minutes she can see a bit more clearer. She looks to the voice again. 

"Raven?" She ask. Why was Raven here. Where is here. 

"The one and only" Raven replies. Lexa looks down to her arm where she can feel a pinching sensation. She has some type of tubes coming out of her arm and she can see wires coming from her chest. She looks down to the source of her pain. But it's covered with a blanket. She removes the blanket and can see the wound is covered by a bandage. She looks at it puzzled. Then she remembers. Titus. Gun. Clarke! She tries to sit up but is held down by Raven. She tries to hit Ravens arm out of the way but has no strength "ok look you crazy raccoon. You have to sit still you are still hurt and you have been asleep for a while" Raven says quickly. Lexa ignores her but stops fighting. She simply does not have the strength too. "Just give yourself a couple of minutes to wake up fully alright" lexa nods cause she has no other choice.

...............................

Raven has been sitting by lexas bed for 30 minutes. Lexa has slowly been in and out of consciousness. Each time she has woken up she has become more lucid. Lexa opens her eyes again and looks at Raven 

"Raven of the sky people where am I?" She asks. She is a lot more aware now. Lexa looks around the metal contraption she is in. 

"Arcadia" Raven replies simply. 

"Arcadia? I do not understand" the door opens and Abby walks up to the bed. 

"She's awake!" Abby says to Raven 

"Abigail?" Says Lexa 

"Yeah she has been in and out of it for 30 minutes" Raven informs her

"Where am I!" Lexa demands. Both Raven and Abby look at Lexa. "Answer me!" She growls out. Abby holds up her hands

"Ok Lexa calm down. You were shot remember?" Lexa nods she looks around suspiciously. None of this makes sense perhaps I have been taken hostage she thinks. "We aren't here to hurt you Lexa." Abby says softly "Clarke thought you might react like this. So she left something for you" Abby goes to the drawer and pulls out parchment. "Can you sit up?" Lexa doesn't respond she just wriggles her way up the bed. It hurts but she doesn't show it. She is sitting against the head rest of the bed. Abby hands her the parchment. "We will leave you alone so you can read it". She nods. 

When both Abby and Raven leave Lexa opens the folded parchment. It's a drawing of her sitting on her thrown. Beside her on her right is gustus and on her left stands Anya. She looks at it and gasps. She runs her fingers over the drawing. Only Clarke could draw something this beautiful. She was always in awe of her drawings. She would often ask Clarke in Polis is she had done any drawings she could look at. She even bought her supplies. She had asked one of her messengers to get the supplies. That was before the fall of the mountain after Clarke told her she used to draw for fun. She bought them in case Clarke would come to Polis after the mountain. She had every intention of showing off the Capitol to Clarke so when Clarke arrived after roan captured her she had the supplies sent to Clarkes room. Clarke wasn't happy at first but the day after the summit she went to talk to Clarke about issues involving the coalition. When she entered the room Clarke was sleeping on the bed and she had the art supplies beside her including a drawing that she had done. She picked up one of the drawings. It was of her at mount weather walking away from Clarke. There was so much emotion in the drawing it took lexas breath away. Even when Clarke woke and snatched the drawing off her she was still speechless and even though Clarke was angry at her it didn't stop her every day asking if she could see her art. She told Clarke how talented she thought she was. And all Clarke said was that it was nothing but Lexa always told her that it wasn't nothing. She even told her that she would hang up some of her artwork if she would let her. She said "when I draw something worth hanging I'll let you know" Now here she is staring at this picture of her 2 fallen mentors and down the bottom was writing it said "something worth hanging" Lexa knows that this could only be a drawing from Clarke. She opens the second parchment it was a letter

Dear leksa

By now you have woken and probably wondering where you are and how you got there. I tried to stay as long as I could. I wanted to be there when you woke but I had to go back to Polis. Just in case you can't remember, you were shot. By Titus. He was trying to kill me and you walked into the room as he was shooting. You got hit. Before I knew what was happening you stopped breathing and Titus turned you over and removed the flame from the back of your neck. He tried to take you but I wouldn't let you go it was then I realised that you still had a pulse. I demanded Titus get healers he asked me to let you go but I couldn't. The healers did what they could for you but I needed my mother to treat you. So Titus helped us sneak you out of Polis and you are now in Arcadia. Titus said you couldn't go back to trikru at the moment. Leksa you are no longer commander. Titus switched a body with yours to make it look like  
you died. I have been summoned to Polis. I gave Pike to the Indra I have to make things right. You can trust my people to care for you. I have taken a radio with me. I would like to hear from you leksa. I know this is a lot to take in but know everything I did was to ensure you lived. I have so much I want to say to you but I don't have enough time to write it and besides I want to say it to you. So please when I use to radio to contact you, talk to me.

May we meet again 

Clarke 

........................

Lexa sits there clutching the letter to her chest. She wasnt the commander anymore and to make things worst she is a refugee in a place that she doesn't want to be in with people she doesn't want to be around. She is in pain and can barley move. She has no control over what is happening in Polis and Clarke isn't here she is there. She angrily wiped the tears from her face. She's angry she is stuck there and angry Clarke didn't let her die in peace. She feels empty. Hollow. Like she has no meaning any more. Like she is nothing. She lied back down on the bed and turned towards the wall. She put her hand againt her cheek but felt something hitting her face. She looks at her wrist and sees clarkes watch. She closes her eyes and blinks always the tears. She doesn't move when she hears the door open. She stays on her side facing the wall. 

..................

Raven walks into the room with food for Lexa. Abby said she should try to eat something. When she looks at the bed she can see Lexa facing the wall. She hears sniffling. She rolls her eyes and curses Clarke for leaving her with this. Like what is she suppose to say to a person who has literally lost everything she knows. She puts the food on the bedside table and sits in the chair.

"You up to eating raccoon?" Lexa remains there silently crying. "Cmon you must be hungry?" Still no response. Raven sighs. "I know this must be hard for you and shit but you have to eat" still no response "look I know you have been crying. You don't need to be embarrassed. Since we will be sharing the Same room I can guarantee you will see me crying too. Sometimes my leg really hurts. So your secret is safe with me if mine is with you. Raccoon" 

Lexa sighs. She turns around slowly and sits up so her back is againt the headboard. She takes the food from Raven.

"Why do you insist on calling me raccoon. My name is Lexa." Raven smiles

"Well when you have war paint on you look like a raccoon!" Lexa rolls her eyes 

"A fierce raccoon I hope." Raven laughs. 

"Yup a scary looking sword wielding intimidating raccoon" Lexa smirks 

"I thought so. Little black bird" Raven smiles at the nick name

"Did you read the letter she left?" Lexa looks away.

"I do not want to talk about it black bird" Raven chuckles 

"That's good raccoon cause I really didn't wanna hear bout it" Lexa smiles.

"I am angry. I feel helpless and useless. This is not my home. I know no one here. I have nothing to contribute now I am no longer commander and that is all because klark would not let me die in peace. I could be in peace little black bird" she sighs "death is not the end" 

"Well welcome to the club" Raven taps on her leg "and FYI death seems pretty final to me" Lexa looks at her curiously 

"What is FYI?" She asks. Raven stares at her with a blank expression then starts laughing.

"Oh you have so much to learn little raccoon" Lexa nods "now come on eat the mush Abby thinks you need to take it slow. She will be back tomorrow morning to check on you" she starts eating and makes a face of disgust "yup all artificial" she eats it anyway.


	10. Chapter 10

Raven and Lexa have been sitting in the room quietly for the last 2 hours in silence. Comfortable silence. Lexa has been staring at the picture Clarke drew for her and Raven has been tinkering

"What Cha looking at?" Asks Raven. Lexa holds out the paper so Raven can grab it. Raven looks at it 

"Wow! Is that gustus?" Lexa nods "who's the hot chick?" Lexa looks at her confused. She takes back the paper to look at it again. 

"There are no chicks in this drawing black bird?" Raven laughs till she has to stop and breathe and sits next to Lexa. She throws her arm around lexas shoulder. Lexa tenses at the touch but relaxes when she can see Raven means no harm. 

"You are too much raccoon!" She takes the drawing again and points to anya. "Chick means like female or girl or woman and hot means she is really attactive" Raven chuckles "was she like your ex girlfriend or lover or something" Lexa looks disgusted by the question.

"No! She was my mentor anya! That is disturbing little black bird.." Lexa replies shaking her head. Raven laughs

"Sorry. My bad. Oh anya! Clarke mentioned her a couple of times" Lexa looks away at the mention of Clarkes name. 

"I do not want to talk about klark"

"Ok ok, gees" 

"Raven come in Raven are you there" there's no answer. "Raven? Octavia?" 

Lexa freezes and Raven jumps up from the bed. 

"Yeah I'm here griffin" replied Raven she looked over to Lexa and sees her tense up.

"I was worried when u didn't answer" Clarke said through the radio

"No need to worry was just a bit occupied" she looks at Lexa and waves her hand to get her attention.

"Ok. Is she awake Raven?" Clarke asks quietly. 

"She will want to talk to you" Raven says to Lexa as she moves towards the bed

"I have nothing to say to her!" Lexa snaps

"Raven?" Said Clarke is a concerned voice. Raven sighs.

"Yeah princess she's awake" 

"Can I talk to her?"asks Clarke 

"You stubborn raccoon take the radio and talk to her! " Raven says harshly but Lexa just shakes her head

"Raven" Clarke says

"Ah she's a bit busy at the moment princess" she looks at Lexa "are you serious right now you are going to talk to her"

"No I am not!" Lexa snaps 

"What? Raven is she ok? What are you talking about she is busy, she was shot! Is she in danger?" 

"Hold on Griffin" Raven straddles Lexa and holds the radio to her face but Lexa uses all the strength she has to try and push her off with out hurting her. 

"You will talk to her" Raven says. Lexa pushes her But she doesn't budge, she punches Raven in the stomach not hard but enough to distract Raven to push her toward the wall side of the bed then slip out and go to the bathroom. She slams the door.

"WHILE YOUR IN THERE SHOWER YOU SMELLY RACCOON!" 

"Raven what the hell is going on" Lexa can hear through the door. She leans against the bathroom door and her heartbreaks for how concerned Clarke sounds for her.

"Clarke um she doesn't want to talk right now" Raven says to Clarke 

"You mean she doesn't want to talk to me" 

Lexa starts pacing it hurts but she can't stay still. "Of course I don't want to talk to you!" she mutters to herself.

"I'm sorry Clarke" she hears Raven tell her

"Did you give her my letter and the drawing?" Lexa closes her eyes thinking of the drawing she made for her.

"Yeah We did princess" said Raven

"I loved the drawing klark" she said softly to herself.

"Ok. Well um" Lexa stops pacing when she hears the crack in Clarke voice. She leans against the door again. She shakes her head. 

"No this is her fault she should have let me die!" She says angrily to herself 

"Hey hey princess you there? Look I know your there and you can hear me ok. Give the raccoon a day or too, I'll make sure she talks to you if I have to HOLD HER DOWN AND SHOVE IT IN HER FACE!" Lexa rolls her eyes

"Why are you yelling and raccoon?" She hears Clarke ask

"No reason. And her war paint reminds me of a raccoon. Look everything is fine here, Kane is chancellor and people seem to be listening for now. Bellamy is still a dick but good news is he has found someone else to put all his over bearing protectiveness on?" Clarke laughs. Lexa smiles.

"Yeah who?" Clarke asks 

"Octavias unborn child" Raven laughs. "As you can imagine o is just thrilled!" Lexa smiles thinking that Lincoln would make a good father.

"I'm sure." 

"I gotta go griff I'll talk to you same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah"

Raven bangs on the door. Lexa turns around and swings open the door. Raven pushes her.

"Listen hear you crazy!" She pushes her "Stubborn!" She pushes her again."Raccoon!" She is pushed up against the basin. "I know you are angry ok. I get it. But Clarke is my friend! She is the closest thing that I have to family and I don't like seeing anyone I care about getting hurt! And what you did just now that hurt her!" Lexa pushes Raven back.

"She hurt me!" She says through gritted teeth.

"No she saved you!" Raven yells.

"I did not asked to be saved!" Lexa yells back. Raven throws her hands up in the air. She takes a deep breath. And puts her hands on her hips. She looks at Lexa 

"Look you can't be angry at her forever. She saved you cause she cares about you." Raven says softly. Lexa doesn't respond cause she know Clarke cares about her sometimes she can't believe that she does. Raven walked towards the shower and turned it on. "You smell have a shower" then she left.

Lexa got undressed and got in the shower. She thought about Clarke. She didn't mean to hurt her but she is just so angry. She crys again then gets angry at herself for crying again. It's weakness she tells herself. She gets dried and dressed and walks back out to the bedroom. Raven is sitting on the bed with Octavia and Lincoln. Lincoln gets up first and walks towards Lexa. He grabs her arm in the warrior hand shake. She smiles up at him.

"Lincoln" she says

"Lexa" he replies. 

"I hear congratulations are in order" she looked at him then back to Octavia. 

"Sha" she nods 

"I am glad for you Lincoln. You were always good with children. You will make a great nontu" Lincoln smiles at her 

"Mochof" he replies. Octavia moves up from the bed and stands next to Lincoln. She looks at her belly and feels strange. The look of concern doesn't go missed by anyone in the room. "What is it heda" Lexa ignores her former title she looks up at Octavia 

"May I?" She asks Octavia looks to Lincoln for advice and he nods at her. 

"Ok?" She says. Lexa puts her hand on Octavia stomach and feels a weird pull. Like she knows this unborn child. The the realisation hits her.

"This baby is a nightblood" she says in awe. Lincoln looks at Lexa shocked.

"A what now" says Raven. 

"A nightblood?" Asks Lincoln "are you sure?" She nods at him

"Ok what the hell is going on?" Octavia says impatiently as she goes to sit down on the chair. Lincoln follows her and stands behind her with his hands massaging her shoulders. Lexa kneels in front of Octavia.

"I am a nightblood. As you are probably aware my blood is not the same as everyone else's. Only a person that is a nightblood can become commander. They are sent to Polis to train. All nightbloods have a connection. Especially when they are in close proximity of one another. For example" she moves her hand to Octavias stomach "I can tell that this baby is very healthy and very strong. I can also tell you what gender the baby is and I can feel what emotions it is feeling" Octavia just looks at her shocked then looks back up to Lincoln who has tears in his eyes. Octavia puts her hand over Lincolns

"Ok this is some freaky shit!" Says Raven 

"Perhaps little black bird but it is the truth" 

"Can you tell me. I mean can you tell us is it a boy or a girl?" Octavia says, She looks back up to Lincoln who smiles down at her 

"It is a girl" Octavia gasps and covers her mouth. Lincoln kisses her on top of her head but is able to hold his tears at bay. Raven jumps up in the air 

"YES!" She runs up beside Lincoln and gives him a hug then does the same to Octavia. Lexa stands up and before she can stop her Raven hugs her too. Lexa just rolls her eyes. She looks at Lincoln and shakes her head

"Skaikru are strange and annoying" he smiles at her 

"Sha"

....................................

When Lincoln and Octavia leave Raven turns around with her hands on her hips and held titlited to the side. She pointed at Lexa

"Don't think I have forgotten about that shit you pulled on Clarke" Lexa looks at Raven confused. 

"Little black bird i wish you and the rest of skaikru would make sense when you talk? Honestly it hurts my head." She shakes her head trying to think of what she can possibly mean. 

"We will talk about this tomorrow" Raven moves around to the other side of the bed and takes off her pants. 

"No we will not. And what are you doing?" Raven climbs into the bed

"Ah I'm sleeping raccoon surely you grounders know what sleeping is" Lexa rubbed her temples and sighed

"Yes black bird but what are you doing sleeping in this bed"

"Well I can't sleep on the floor can I and neither can you so I'm sleeping here." Lexa was too tired to argue

"I am not comfortable with this" she said in defeat. Raven sits up and looks at Lexa directly in her eyes

"Listen here you annoying stubborn raccoon! Do you really think I am comfortable sleeping in the same bed as the woman who ordered my boyfriends death and then tied me to a tree and cut me? Well news flash! I'm not! So suck it up" Lexa cringed at the mention of cutting Raven. After all she has been the one talking care of her in some sense.

"Finn was your lover? Are you aware that he was Clarkes as well" Raven sighed and turned over to face Lexa 

"That's a long story" she sighed "actually it's not. I crashed down in a pod 10 days after the original 100 so I could find Finn, little did I know that he had got together with Clarke and she didn't know either" Lexa frowned 

"Hmm" she said

"What?" Not wanting to upset Raven any further she just ignored her and closed her eyes "come on now you have something to say just say it" Raven says annoyed.

"Fine. You seem upset he was killed yet he was unfaithful to you and dishonest to hot and Clarke not to mention the fact he slaughtered 18 innocent men women and children. He does not seem like a person to mourn over" Raven went silent 

"You are right but you didn't know him. I don't condone what he did but I can understand why. He thought he would never see me again. It still hurt he hooked up with Clarke and he thought that the grounders kidnapped Clarke so he went looking for her. Are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same?" Lexa thought about that. 

"I would never be unfaithful little black bird. But yes I do not think there is anything I would not do for Clarke. But I would not kill innocent men woman and children I would however would not stop till the end of time to find her" Raven smiles. Lexa rolls her eyes 

"Goodnight raccoon"

"Goodnight"


	11. Chapter 11

Clarke is awaken by a knock at the door, she looks to Murphy who doesn't seem to wake up to the noise. When she opens the door Titus is standing there and he doesn't looked amused. Clarke rolls her eye. She thinks it's ridiculous that Titus can have any type of attitude at the moment this is all his fault after all. She steps aside and lets him in.

"Wanheda you have to be up a lot earlier than this. It almost noon"

"Yeah well I have had a rough couple of days Titus" she snaps back

"Keep it down. Trying to sleep" Murphy mumbles. Clarke walks over to him and yanks off the blanket. He gets the message and sits up

"So what's on the agenda today baldy" Murphy says through a yawn

"Today we burn the body and then there will be a week of mourning"

"What! Titus I don't want to be here for a damn week!" Clarke snaps

"You are free to leave wanheda you are not a prisoner here but like I suggested it would be wise for you to bare witness to the trials and pikes execution which will be held tomorrow" Clarke paces

"Do you understand why I can not be here" Clarke says through gritted teeth.

"Yes" he replies simply. She shakes her head. She just wants to go back to Arcadia and try to talk to Lexa. To help her heal. She let's out a groan of frustration.

"Fine!" She yells and makes her way to the bathroom

...............................................

Clarke and Murphy are led up to the top level of the tower. When they enter the room Clarke can see the nightbloods all surrounding the body of what they believe to be Lexa. This person is covered in a red sheet and the nightbloods are pouring red powder over her. She feels guilty knowing that they are mourning a woman they so dearly are devoted to when she is alive and well. When the door shuts all the nightbloods turn towards Clarke, Murphy and Titus. She makes her way over to them. Aden moves forward infront of all the nightbloods. There are 7 of them 

"Wanheda" he says curtly

"It's Clarke Aden. I'm sorry for your loss" he smirks at her. She looks at him confused by his reaction maybe they didn't care for Lexa like she thought. When she looked behind Aden all the nightbloods were snickering. But stop when Titus claps his hands. She gets defensive and moves towards them. "You think it's funny she is dead!" She snaps. How dare they laugh at their heda! There leader! their teacher! She's pulled from her thoughts when Aden puts his hand on her shoulder. He looks at her regrettably. She shakes his hand off and turns toward him "how dare you-"

"We know she is alive wanheda." Aden says calmly. Clarke looks back at the other nightbloods and sees them nodding in agreement, the youngest of the novitiates, Amy, runs over to her and hugs her leg. She is only 5. Clarke looks down to her and she see her looking back up at her with a big smile on her face. She has hazel eyes black hair and chubby little cheeks and her 2 front teeth are missing. She's so cute it makes Clarke smile and she relaxes. She runs her hand through her hair. 

"I cwan fweel her" says Amy. Clarke looks back to Aden waiting for an explanation.

"Nightbloods can sense one another, we can feel she lives" Aden smiles.

"Then why can't ontari? Or can she?" Clarke starts to panic. Titus walks over to her

"No wanheda, these children can feel Lexa because they were always around her in close proximity, ontari however has never been near her. Even the fight against roan she was far away from her. She will feel nothing" she nods 

"That's just weird" Murphy says. Amy runs up to him and hugs his leg. He freezes and looks up at Clarke.

"You help swave my heda. So I wuv you too" Clarke was finding it hard to hold back her chuckles at the look on Murphy face. He pats her head like you would a dog and says

"Yea yeah kid go join your weird friends" he waves her off. She skips over to the other nightbloods. Aden pulls Clarke aside

"Kat is the only nightblood old enough to compete with me and ontari and she is going to forfeit, I don't want her to but they want me to become next heda. I believe it is because I'm older and because that is what Lexa wanted" she nods in agreement "Lexa changed the tradition you know. It used to be the last nightblood standing alive would become heda" 

"What is it now?" 

"we have to stand infront of the coalition to state our intentions, then we hunt and then we fight but not to the death, it is possible to die though in the hunts" she quickly looks back to Amy and feels sick at the thought this child would have to do those things. "Do not worry Clarke the young ones don't compete as I said" 

"That's a relief but listen I'm worried about ontari, I don't think she will play by the rules"

"Perhaps wanheda but death is not the end" she rolls her eyes

"Not you too" she groans "look she's dangerous ok you have to watch out for her Aden" he nods

"I will"

..........................

Clarke stands in her room as she hears horns go off, they have just burnt the fake body of Lexa. It's now night and she is due to radio in on Raven again and as usual Murphy is asleep. She sighs and makes her way to the lounge chair.

"Raven" 

"Princess!" Raven says, Clarke smiles even at the darkest time Raven seems to be able to pull a smile from her

"How are things" she asks

"Pretty good griff, it's peaceful her for once, its feels strange but good none the less, how bout you"

"Well they burnt the fake body today we have to mourn for a week" she says grumpily.

"Looks like you will be there for a while"

"Yeah, how is she today ray?" There's silence for a minute "Raven are you there"

"Yeah sorry griff. She's annoying as shit! She is stubborn and she takes up most the bed!" Clarke quickly sits up. They are sharing a bed? She thinks to herself.

"What" she growls. "Raven you should be in your own bed Lexa, she... well she needs the room" she can hear Raven laugh through the radio 

"Don't be jealous Clarkey"

"I am not jealous Raven. I mean it you can't be in her bed!" She says though clenched teeth.

"Well technically it's my bed and your girlfriend is invading it and I am not sleeping on the floor princess." She replies with amusement in her voice. Clarke pinches her nose stands up and begins to pace. She takes a moment to regain her composure 

"Can I talk to her please" she says while clenching her jaw. There's silence "Raven!" She whisper yells

"Ah she's busy again griff" Clarke stops pacing. She counts to 10 to try and calm herself down. Now she's pissed. Ok yes Lexa isn't commander anymore but she did what she did to save her what else was she suppose to do let her die. She clenches her fists. It's been a couple days and she is already sharing someone else's bed. She shakes her head. And knocks over the chair. 

"Is she there in that room with you" Clarke asks calmly. Silence again. "Raven!" She yells

"Shit griff! Calm down yes she is" good she thinks. She walks over to the table in her room and leans down tryin to take calming breaths 

"Good. Take the radio over to her and hold it infront of her so she can hear me" Clarke says calmly 

"Ok princess done" says Raven. She takes a deep breath again and stands up straight 

"Leksa. I have Murphy here with me in my bed. I have been sleeping on the chair but since we haven't had the chance to talk maybe we didn't clear things up. Now is a good time. Am I ok to sleep in the bed with him?" Clarke waits for a response. "Or hmm king roan has offered up his bed many times in the last 2 days maybe I should allow hi-"

"You are not to share a bed with those animals! They are not worthy!" Lexa Cuts her off. Clarke hears a scuffle 

"Ok ok calm down racoon" Raven says calmly

"I'll kill them black bird" Lexa growls. Clarke smiles. Least I got my point across she thinks. "Let me go!" Clarke can hear another scuffle "Raven give it-"

"No-"

"I'll-them-die" she hears the radio cut in and out. Clarke goes and lays down on the chair. Maybe she did over react. But her and Lexa never talked about their relationship and with the stubborn brunette not talking to her and the thought of Raven getting to share a bed with her made her well jealous. After a couple minutes silence Raven comes through on the radio

"Princess you still there?"

"Yes" 

"Ok good. Listen. I don't know what's going on in that pretty little head of your but let me make myself clear. I am in no way attracted to you grumpy ass raccoon of a girlfriend, we share a bed because there is one bed in here griff. I can't sleep on the floor princess it hurts" Clarke closes her eyes and starts to feel embarrassed "yes- just wai- fuck!" The radio cuts in and out again

"Raven is everything alright" 

"No griffin you got commander raccoon all worked up. Ok Lexa! Gees! Ok Clarke you still there?" 

"Unfortunately" 

"Look I'll see if I can work something out griff but if I can't then you have to accept that we will have to share a bed ok, honestly there is nothing romantically I feel for the raccoon I mean have you seen her morning hair? Ow!"

"Are you ok Raven" Clarke asks

"Yeah yeah anyways princess can you not share a bed with anyone else please. It's hard enough keeping her in this room without her wanting to go all crazy" her lip tremble and her voices wavers 

"I never wanted to" she hears a scuffle again 

"Klark" Lexa says in a stern voice, she sits up quickly 

"Leksa?"

"Klark I am angry at you. I am not ready to talk yet and certainly not over this contraption but know this if I could sleep on the floor I would but your overbearing stubborn mother insists that I sleep on the bed, usually I would kill a person for demanding things from me but since she is your mother.... " Clarke hears Raven chuckle in the background " I thought that it might upset you so I do what she asks. Even though I am angry klark the very thought of you sharing a bed with another person makes me physically sick and even more angry. I will kill roan that ungrateful-" the radio cut out. There is silence again. But Clarke just waits. With tears rolling down her face.

"I'm sorry" she says Into the radio

"Hey princess look I get it, your stuck in Polis and your miserable. Your commander is being a pain in the ass. Your stuck with Murphy and the man who shot your commander and to top that she is sharing your bed with the most attractive and most awesome person on the planet I mean I'd be jealous too" Clarke laughs. "Alright well that was enough fun for one night. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah"

When Clarke finishes talking to Raven she feels bitter sweet. It feels good to know Lexa at least has some feelings left for her but it hurts that she is still angry. Clarke realises that it is going to take time. But she will wait.

"Your love life is very entertaining" Murphy chuckles. Clarke rolls her eyes 

"Shut up Murphy" 

"Ok ok gees" he drawls "just don't use me next time you wanna make your girlfriend Jealous, she scares the crap outta me" Clarke smiles and then laughs "something funny?"

"Murphy I don't even think you have talked to her"

"Yeah! She is even intimidating when she is unconscious" Clarke laughs

"Goodnight Murphy" 

"Goodnight princess" he grumbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter it was fun! Hope you enjoy it, leave a comment :)


	12. Chapter 12

It's midday and Lexa is pacing in her and ravens room. Raven walks in and Lexa stops

"Little black bird I can not stay in this room any longer" Lexa says exasperated 

"Well you are still injured"

"I'm fine"

"Of course you are" Raven chuckles. Abby walks into the room 

"Lexa you shouldn't be up you are injured!" She Walks up to Lexa to check her wound but Lexa holds up her hand

"Abigail I am fine I need to leave this room" Raven laughs

"Doc she just called you Abigail!" Abby sighed

"Look I am the Doctor you are my patient you will do what I ask you too" Lexa stood with her chin and the air and hands behind her back" Raven sits down chucking still

"Oh no Abby she has gone commander on you" Lexa looks at Raven and glares at her. Raven stops laughing and holds up her hands.

"I am not a child abagail!" Lexa says through her clutched jaw

"No you are not but for some reason MY child cares for you so I am going to take care of you whether you like it or not Lexa. You were shot you need rest to heal" Abby said sternly 

"Klark does not care about me if she did she would have let me die!" Lexa yells she turns around and hits everything off the drawers. She cringes at the pain in her abdomen. Raven walks up to Lexa and stands next to her

"Feel better raccoon" Lexa shakes her head "look Abby she is going stir crazy here what if she comes with me to my work station. She can sit and watch me and if she gets tired she will let me know. She's pretty blunt honestly" 

"Fine. I need to check your wound though" Lexa nods and lays on the bed. Abby cleans the wound and redresses it she directs Lexa to take antibiotics. When Abby leave Lexa stands up and looks at Raven

"Thank you" she says sincerely 

"Come on"

......................................

Lexa had spent the day at Ravens work station. She found the things Raven were doing fascinating even though Raven was telling her how annoying her questions were Raven seemed genuinely willing to talk about what she was doing. Lexa could tell this was something Raven was passionate about and she admired her for it. They were sitting at the work station when Bellamy burst into the room. 

"Rayes! I need some help" he stoped in his tracks and drifted off when he noticed Lexa siting next to Raven. Lexa looked at him unamused. "What the hell! Raven you know that is the commander right?" Raven laughed 

"No! Really! Holy shit!" She said sarcastically. Lexa grinned. And looked back up at Bellamy

"Why is she here? Does Kane know she is here? does Clarke? Do the grounders?" He rambled on.

"Ask her yourself she is sitting right there" Raven ignored his rambling and went back to tinkering.

"I do not answer to him black bird" Lexa growled out. Raven stopped and sighed. She looked up at Bellamy 

"She isn't commander anymore she was shot the grounders think she is dead and yes Clarke knows that she is here since she is the one who bought her here in the first place" Lexa rolled her eyes. Bellamy looks at Lexa like he is trying to figure her out. Not suspicious per say more curious. He goes sits at the table infront of Lexa.

"We have both done some horrible things. Maybe we should start over" he says to her.

"You killed 300 of my people I sent to protect you and skaikru. You then tried to have klark arrested." She spat out

"You attacked us and you left Clarke and my people at mount weather to die" he replied. Lexa nods in acceptance. 'Guess we aren't so different after all' she thinks. He holds out his hand "hi I'm Bellamy Blake" she sighs and grabs his hand because she knows Clarke is close to him on some level 

"Lexa" she says simply. He nods and smiles.

"Great your both idiots..." ravens drawls still tinkering with her stuff "why you here bell what can I do for ya?"

"I was wondering if you could make a baby monitor for O?"

"What is a baby monitor?" Lexa asks, both Raven and Bellamy look at Lexa 

"For real" says Raven

"It's so when you leave a room you can still hear the baby and know if it's awake or not" Lexa nods impresses 

"I don't think you will need one though bell Lexa is kinda like a baby whisperer. Well for this baby anyways" 

"Huh" he says

"Oh! You are gonna love this!" But is cut off from Lexa

"Little bird perhaps this is not your story to tell" Lexa says calmly 

"Fair enough. Go talk to your sister bell and yeah I can make that for her" she smiles 

"Thanks rayes" he looks at Lexa "Lexa"

"Bellamy" she replies and then her leave.


	13. Chapter 13

Raven and Lexa have returned to their bedroom. Lexa was somewhat happy that she wasn't stuck in the room again but was displeased when Abby once again reprimanded her for being out for so long. It takes a lot not to react to Abby's overbearing attitude but she doesn't and curtly nods and bites the inside of her cheek. Both her and Raven are now sitting in the bedroom after having dinner and showering. Lexa was all but ready to go to sleep before she heard the radio.

"Raven" she can hear Clarke through the radio. Lexa just sits there and try's not to react to Clarkes voice. On the outside she looks bored but on the inside she her stomach is doing flips. Raven stands up and grabs the radio off the table 

"Princess!" She says excitingly in the radio

"How are things" Clarke ask. Lexa notes how tired she sounds.

"Pretty good griff, it's peaceful here for once, its feels strange but good none the less, how bout you" Raven says

"Well they burnt the fake body today we have to mourn for a week" Clarke says in a unhappy tone. Lexa tenses up at the mention of her fake death. Raven looks at Lexa but Lexa looks away

"Looks like you will be there for a while" 

"Yeah, how is she today ray?" Raven holds out the radio infront of Lexa

"Talk to her!" Lexa shakes her head

"No"

"Raven are you there" Clarke asks. Raven shakes her head at Lexa but Lexa just looks tense and unamused 

"Yeah sorry griff. She's annoying as shit! She is stubborn and she takes up most the bed!" Lexa clenches her jaw while Raven just smirks at her. 

"What" Clarke growls. Lexa sits up straighter looking confused at the tone of voice that Clarke is using "Raven you should be in your own bed Lexa, she... well she needs the room" Raven laughs 

"Don't be jealous Clarkey" 'jealous?' Thinks Lexa 

"I am not jealous Raven. I mean it you can't be in her bed!" Clarke responds quickly 

"Well technically it's my bed and your girlfriend is invading it and I am not sleeping on the floor princess." She replies amused. Lexa looks at Raven and Raven shrugs at the silence on the other end of the radio

"Can I talk to her please" clarke asks. 

"Come on she is asking for you raccoon!"

"No I do not want to talk to klark!"

"Raven!" Clarke whisper yells through the radio. Raven just shakes her head Lexa sits there with her arms crossed.

"Ah she's busy again griff" The radio goes silent again "honestly you are so annoying" Raven says to Lexa

"I will not be forced to talk to someone I have no interest in talking too" replies Lexa 

"She sounds pissed raccoon" says Raven 

"Is she there in that room with you" Clarke asks. Lexa shakes her head as in telling Raven to not tell Clarke 

"I'm not lying for you" she says with a smirk 

"Raven!" Clarke yells it makes them both jump

"Shit griff! Calm down yes she is" 

"Good. Take the radio over to her and hold it infront of her so she can hear me" Raven moves to lexa towards Lexa and sits on the side of the bed and holds it out to her. Lexa just sits there clenching her jaw

"Ok princess done" says Raven. 

"Leksa. I have Murphy here with me in my bed" leksa looks at the radio and tenses "I have been sleeping on the chair but since we haven't had the chance to talk maybe we didn't clear things up. Now is a good time. Am I ok to sleep in the bed with him?" Leksa gets off the bed quickly and starts pacing. She feels nauseous at the thought of Clarke being on the same bed as Murphy. "Or hmm king roan has offered up his bed many times in the last 2 days maybe I should allow hi-" she stops and moves quickly towards the bed and snatches the radio off Raven.

"You are not to share a bed with those animals! They are not worthy!" Lexa Cuts her off. Raven moves towards Lexa who is pacing with the radio in a death grip

"Give me the radio before you break it" Raven goes to grab it but Lexa is holding on to it so she yanks it as had as she can out of her hands without breaking it. Lexa tries to get it back but Lexa is hold her at arms length with her back towards her.

"Ok ok calm down racoon" Raven says calmly

"I'll kill them black bird" Lexa growls and Tries to hit Ravens hand out of the way but Lexa is still weak "Let me go!" "Raven give it back I'm not done!"

"No you are going to break it your crazy raccoon!" She pushes Lexa back. Lexa gives in and starts pacing. She heads for the door but Raven blocks it and holds up her hand

"I'll kill that coward I'll kill them both! They will both die" she growls trying to get past Raven.

"You won't get far so just stop and calm down!" Lexa takes a deep brath and starts pacing again but more calmly 

"Princess you still there?" Raven asks Lexa stops and looks at her

"Yes" Clarke replies 

"Ok good. Listen. I don't know what's going on in that pretty little head of your but let me make myself clear. I am in no way attracted to you grumpy ass raccoon of a girlfriend, we share a bed because there is one bed in here griff. I can't sleep on the floor princess it hurts" Lexa moves towards Raven and try's to get the radio

"You tell her that I did not want to share a bed with you!" Lexa says through her teeth whiles trying to grab the radio

"yes ok just wait fuck!" Raven is struggling to keep the former commander at bay

"Raven is everything alright" Clarke ask concerned 

"I mean it Raven you tell her to tell king roan he is dead the next time he sees me! He will die by my sword!" Raven pushes Lexa back Lexa keeps trying to get the radio

"No griffin you got commander raccoon all worked up. Ok Lexa! Gees! Ok Clarke you still there?" 

"Unfortunately" Raven holds her hands up to show Lexa she isn't going to fight anymore 

"Just wait Lexa" Raven asks. Lexa nods and walks backwards from her 

"Look I'll see if I can work something out griff but if I can't then you have to accept that we will,have to share a bed ok, honestly there is nothing romantically I feel for the raccoon I mean have you seen her morning hair? Lexa picks up a pillow and throws it at Ravens head."Ow!" Lexa grins in satisfaction 

"Are you ok Raven" Clarke asks

"Yeah yeah anyways princess can you not share a bed with anyone else please. It's hard enough keeping her in this room without her wanting to go all crazy" 

"I never wanted to" Lexa can her the crack in Clarkes voice and it causes her stomach to do flips again she walks toward Raven and snatches the radio from her.

"Klark" Lexa says in a stern voice

"Leksa?" Clarke says. Lexa takes a deep breath

"Klark I am angry. I am not ready to talk yet and certainly not over this contraption but know this if I could sleep on the floor I would but your overbearing stubborn mother insists that I sleep on the bed, usually I would kill a person for demanding things from me but since she is your mother.... " Raven falls back on the bed laughing " I thought that it might upset you so I do what she asks. Even though I am furious klark the very thought of you sharing a bed with another person makes me physically sick and even more angry. I will kill roan that ungrateful son A a bitch!" Raven quickly gets up and snatches the radio back. She holds out her hands to Lexa 

"Calm down before you say something stupid" Lexa nods. She has to agree in her current mood she just might says something she can't take back

"I'm sorry" she hears Clarke says. She sounds sad and it brings tears to lexas eyes. She turns so Raven doesn't see.

"Hey princess look I get it, your stuck in Polis and your miserable. Your commander is being a pain in the ass. Your stuck with Murphy and the man who shot your commander and to top that she is sharing your bed with the most attractive and most awesome person on the planet I mean I'd be jealous too" Lexa rolls her eyes "Alright well that was enough fun for one night. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah"

The radio cut out.

"Well that was fun" Raven says sarcastically. Lexa wipes the tears from her cheeks. "Cmon raccoon what's going on in that head of yours" 

"How could she think I would bed another just days after we consummated our relationship?" 

"Well you haven't really talked since then ya know" Lexa thinks about that and She realises that it is true. They haven't talked about them not since they slept together. She nods "come on you stomach is probably hurt now after this, let's go to bed yeah" Lexa just nods

"I am still not comfortable with this Raven" Lexa says in an even tone

"Live with it" is all Raven replies when she gets into bed. She starts snoring instantly. Lexa stares at the ceiling and thinks about Clarke. She is still so angry. She falls asleep dreaming of blue eyes


	14. Chapter 14

It's been a week since the burning of the fake body. Clarke has been keeping herself busy with avoiding king roan and ontari by walking around Polis and working on her art. On her third day of being in Polis Pike was executed by 1000 cuts by all the ambassadors including Clarke and of family members of the warriors that were killed by his hand. She was the one who had to give him his last cut to end his life. She didn't feel bad or guilty even when he called her a traitor. She just sighed and pushed the knife through his heart. After the execution the rest of the ambassadors had even more respect for her. She informed them all of how skaikru could contribute to the coalition, the only clan that didn't agree was ice nation. But not from king roan only from ontari. She has been in contact with skaikru every night at the same time. Mostly with Raven, sometimes her mother who would update her on lexas condition. She hasn't spoke to Lexa since their last talk. She rolls her eyes at herself thinking of how stupid she reacted to Raven and Lexa sleeping in the same bed. She is embarrassed when she thinks about it so she try's not too. Lexa is healing well according to her mother. Faster then a normal person. It intrigues her mother who wanted to run tests of lexas blood but from what Raven has said Lexa will not allow it. She doesn't blame her. 

She is now sitting in the throne room it's the first day of the trials. Because of how young most of the nightbloods are only Aden and Kat a girl only a year younger then Aden and ontari will compete but first they all have to stand infront of the coalition and tell everyone what they would expect if one of them is to become heda. The ambassadors have the right to question them. Clarke told Titus that she thinks this is a waste of time. from what Titus explained if none of the nightbloods were to die then the coalition has to vote for who they want to lead them. A new rule put in place by Lexa. She is bought out of her thoughts by Titus

"Ambassadors of the coalition today begins the trials of the nightbleeders to see who is worthy enough to become heda. Kat you will go first since you are the youngest" she nods and steps forward.

"I am Kat kom trikru, I would like to step down as a challenger to the throne but Aden has made me promise to try. In all honesty the throne belongs to him as that is what our former commander wanted but if I were to win my policy would be the same as heda leksa the greatest commander of our time!" The ambassadors all grunt out n agreement. Clarke feels a swell of pride. And she smiles at Kat who smiles back. No one has any questions for her. 

"Aden your next" Titus says Aden stands up infront of the ambassadors his arms behind his back and chin in the air. Just like Lexa Clarke thinks and smiles. 

"People of the coalition" he says confidently "I believe that our former heda, heda leksa was on the path to peace. If I become heda I will dedicate my life to continue to fight for and ever lasting peace. Just like she did. I want no more wars if necessary I want our children to grow and prosper. Just like heda leksa wanted" an ambassador from rock clan stood up 

"And what will you do with skaikru?" He asks 

"Skaikru will remain the 13th clan I will pledge my loyalty to them as I will to the rest of the 12 clans. Skaikru have a lot to offer the coalition as you are probably aware of if you have had any discussions with wanheda. The only thing that I will demand of them that is non negotiable is that all Skaikru weaponry will be destroyed. If they can not do this then they will not be allowed into the coalition and will leave these lands" all the ambassadors nodded with agreement. One of the ice nation ambassadors stepped forward. 

"He is weak just like Lexa" all the night bloods stood up quickly ready to defend Lexa but Aden held up his hand. Clarke gripped on to her chair tightly biting the inside of her cheek. Aden moves toward the ice nation ambassador who was standing by king roan.

"You believe heda leksa to be weak?" Clarke smirked she has seen this before in Lexa. Aden is setting this man up in a trap.

"Sha" he said defiantly 

"You believe a person who bought together the coalition and therefor peace to our lands is weak?" The ice nation ambassador didn't answer. "Who freed our people from the mountain, weak?" Still no reply. "Tell me ambassador of the ice nation, how did azgeda became part of the coalition?" 

"My queen allowed it?" 

"Remind the rest of us what your queen did prior to being accepted as a clan of the coalition" Aden hissed out. He didn't answer

"You will answer the question ambassador!" Titus said in a loud clear voice.

"She killed lexas lover" 

"That is not all she did! She tortured costia and then deliver her head to heda leksas bed!" Aden growled out "still she allowed ice nation into the coalition. She put aside her thirst for revenge and gave all of ice nation a chance at peace! tell me ambassador again how you believe that she was weak!" He hissed. The ambassador stood their quiet. Aden turned his back and walked to the front of the room. "Tell me ambassador, are your people loyal to your king?"

"Sha" he said

"Are your people happier with their king then they were with the ice queen?" He didn't reply just stood there quietly "our former heda taught me to keep my ears open and hear all. I know for a fact that the ice nation is happier with your new king so I will ask again ambassador, are your people happier with their new king" 

"Yes!" He hissed 

"Tell me ambassador, how did roan of azgeda became king?" Clarke smiled and held back a chuckle. The ambassador didn't answer so Aden looked back at Titus and nodded. Titus moved forward and punched the ambassador in the gut. He fell to the floor.

"You will answer the question or I'll cut out your tounge!" Titus said

"I'll ask again ambassador how did roan of azgeda become king?" The ambassador stood. 

"Lexa beat king roan in a fight killed the queen and announced the new king" he grunted.

"You stated in this room in front of 13 clans that your people were accepted in the coalition despite your queens actions against heda lexas lover who I might add was ice nation herself. you also stated that your people are happier with their new king which is a directed result of the actions of your former heda! I'll ask again, do you believe that your former heda is weak?" The ambassador looks around the room. 

"No" he growls out

"I see so you are just a fool with a big mouth then" the rest of the room all chuckled including Clarke. "King roan I am in disbelief that this is a man you choose to represent your clan" Aden held his head up high. King roan stood up then.

"Apologies Aden kom trikru. I will be sure to have a word with him after this meeting" Aden nods "if I may ask a question myself" Aden nodded "what will you do with the flame keeper? He is the one to have killed our former heda after all" roan sat back on his seat and sent a wink to Clarke she rolled her eyes and looked to aden

"I have thought about this king roan. Titus has been flamekeeper for 5 commanders now but he did kill our former heda. If I become heda he will die for his crime but he will train a new flamekeeper first" he looks back at Titus and Titus bowed to accept his punishment. With no other questions Aden walked behind where Clarke was sitting.

"Ontari it is now your turn to talk" ontari moved towards the front of the room. 

"When I become heda blood will have blood. We will go back to the way our people have lived for the last 100 years and the conclave with go back to the way it was" she looked at the young nightbloods with a grin. Clarke scoffed "is something funny wanheda!" She snaps 

"Yes I was just thinking what an excellent leader you would make ontari kom azgeda" She says sarcastically 

"Skaikru will burn to the ground" she growls out.

"Is that right? Tell me ontari how you think killing young innocent nightbloods who are a rare kind a good decision. Also tell me how killing a clan that can offer medical knowledge that can save thousands of people something a good leader would do?" 

"You will answer ontari!" Bellowed Titus. She glared at him then Clarke. Clarke smirked as ontari didn't answer. She looked around the room at the rest of the ambassador she pointed to ontari without looking at her

"Some leader she will make she can't even answer a question" the rest of the room chuckled. Clarke new exactly what she was doing. 

"I will kill you wanheda!" She yelled

"I am an ambassador of the 13 clans. I am the destroyer of the mountain. I am the commander of death!. If that is a threat ontari that is declaring war!" Roan quickly stands up

"We do not want war wanheda" roan says quickly ontari glares a him. With no other questions all the ambassadors move out. She stays with the night bloods and Titus. They all ran over to Aden to congratulate him. She stands back and smiles as Titus stands next to her

"She would be proud of him today" Clarke said to Titus

"Sha as am I" 

"How do you feel about your punishment"

"It's fitting for the crime I committed" she nods.

"I'm worried Titus that ontari will try to harm the nightbloods"

"As am I, I will double up on the guards" she feels relived at that. 

..................................

Later that afternoon Clarke is walking though Polis again. She stops when she hears a scream. It's a child's scream she runs towards the noise. She rounds a corner where she can see the nightblood crowed around something. She makes her way though. When she gets through them she let's out a gasp. Aden is holding Kat in his lap. She has cuts all over her body and her eyes are closed. She quickly kneels beside her and Aden checking for a pulse. There is none. Aden looks at Clarke with watering eyes he swallows a lump in his throat. He is trying not to cry. She takes Kat from him and holds her. She rocks back and forward with her in her arms. She was looks over her injuries. She was cut in so many places. She looks up to Kats face. Even her face was cut. Her throat had been slashed who ever did this tortured her first. There is only person who would be sick enough to do something like this. That's ontari 

..................................... 

Titus had a pyre set up for Kat all the nigbloods mourned and Clarke stood with them. She held the youngest while she cried. She looks around to see who had turned up. All the ambassadors showed. Ontari was there and she was grinning. Clarke shook her head now is not the time she has to be there for these kids. She wondered if Lexa could feel the loss. When the fire burned down she walked the nightbloods back to their room. They all fell asleep quickly including Aden. She was angry and wants to confront ontari so she heads to her room. 

.............................

She bangs on the door but no one answers. She so lets herself in. She looks around the room for ontari but she is no where to be found. She hears a noise outside the door so she decides to hide. She hides outside the balcony where she can't be seen. 

"I did what I had to roan!" Ontari says

"A child ontari really?" He growls

"You are weak king roan, I will be heda if I have to kill all the nightbloods myself" Clarke feels her blood run cold. She clenches her fists. 

"Wanheda knows it was you"

"So she has no proof. That bitch humiliated me infront of the coalition. She is Lucky I didn't kill her instead!" Clarke hears the door slam. She peeks around the corner and sees that roan had left. Ontari paces the room. "Tomorrow I will kill Aden" she says to herself. Clarke stays hidden whiles ontari gets ready for bed. After an hour of standing in the cold. She looks inside the room and can see ontari is clearly asleep. She Grabs a knife she has strapped to her leg and moves toward the bed quietly like Lexa and Lincoln had shown her. She gets to the bed and holds the knife over her head then plunges it down into Ontaris heart. Ontari wakes up but Clarke covers her mouth so she can't scream. She looks at ontari in the eyes 

"You will never become heda you sick bitch!" She growls she waits untill the light leaves Ontaris eyes. She feels tears run down her cheeks and she quickly makes her way towards the door. She quietly gets to her room where Murphy had been wating for her. He looked worried and he had the radio in his hands. 

"Murphy where is klark!" She can hear Lexa on the radio, she sounds upset. She looks at Murphy and shakes her head. Murphy can see the blood on her hands and the knife. 

"Get to the shower now Clarke wash the blood off your knife and then burn your clothes" he says quickly 

"Murphy what the hell is going on commander raccoon is freaking out" she heard Raven as she made her way to the bathroom.

"I'll get her to radio back in 30 minutes" she takes off her clothes not caring that Murphy is watching her. He takes the clothes over to the fire place and throws them in. "Go princess shower" he said calmly


	15. Chapter 15

Lexa is out hunting with Lincoln. It's been a week since she talked to Clarke she has healed enough to be able to do more physical activities. Abby seems to be in awe of her recovery so far and has been bothering her about getting samples to test it. Lexa declines. Everything in Arcadia has been peaceful, when she isn't with Raven in her workshop she is with Octavia or Lincoln other Skaikru have noticed her presence but don't say anything about it they have all been welcoming and kind all accept Jasper who she had an incident with. Lexa doesn't hide the fact that she is well Lexa. She is not ashamed and none of Skaikru has said anything towards her yet she thinks that has to do with Raven. She is almost never alone and it's driving her mad. But when she hunts with Lincoln she feels like her old self again even if it is for a little while. Sometimes Lincoln will leave her be for an hour or so sensing that she needs to be alone. When she is alone she thinks of Clarke and her nightbloods and of Aden being the next commander. So her she is sitting against a tree trunk at ease eating an apple when all the sudden she felt like the life was being sucked out of her. She tried to stand up but her knees wouldn't hold her. She was taking deep breathes but she felt like she was being cut all over her body. She gets up and she sways but before she can hit the ground she is caught by Lincoln 

"Lexa what is it?" She try's to answer but she can't breath. He throws her Arm around her shoulder to steady her and they start walking. Then she stops. She feels sadness, pain and dispair. She felt Kat take her last breath then she felt nothing. Lexa fell to her knees with tears running down her face. She clenched her hands into a tight fist and then screamed. Lincoln knelt down beside her and waiting for her to talk. She stood up and started running towards Arcadia. 

................................

Raven sat in the chair in her room fiddling with another contraption. She jumped out of her chair when Lexa threw open the door and ran Lincoln right behind her. Raven looked at Lexa and seen tear tracks. 

"Lexa what's wrong" she goes up to Lexa and puts her hand on her shoulders trying to stop her from pacing 

"You need to contact Clarke" she said quietly

"Ok but I don't know if she will be there raccoon, why what's going on" Lexa shrugged her off and pulled at her hair

"Then I need to go to Polis" she starts to leave but the door is blocked by Lincoln and she is held back by Raven

"Stop Lexa please tell us what's going on!" Raven says Lexa takes a deep breathe

"Kat one of my nightbleeders is dead, I felt her death" both Lincoln and Ravens eyes went wide and they gasped. Raven knows how important the nightblight children where to Lexa when ever Lexa could she would tell Raven stories about each and everyone of them. She loves them. It is the only time that she has seen Lexa with a smile on her face. Raven hesitantly walked up to Lexa and slowly embraced her. Lexa stood there stiffly. She doesn't let people touch her. Only costia and Clarke but Raven has become her friend. Her annoying loud brutality honest friend. She lifted up her arms slowly and bought her arms around Ravens waist she let her head drop on Ravens shoulder. She wished it was Clarke here she was hugging she wishes she could be in Polis with the rest of the nightblood children to comfort them. She cried and sobbed and Raven pat her back. Lincoln moved forward and squeezed her shoulder. She felt weak but she felt that what was happening right know would not leave this room. 

"I'm so sorry" Raven said quietly. 

"I hate this little bird I hate that I can't do anything to help. I hate that I'm not there. I changed the conclave so none of them would get hurt. How did this happen I don't understand" Raven pulls out of the embrace and holds Lexa by the shoulders. 

"Hey we will contact Clarke ok" she nods and wipes the tears from her eyes. Raven watches as Lexa moved towards the bed to sit down. She can't believe that at one point or another she wanted this woman dead. Now here they are they share the same bed, They tell each other stories and comfort each other. This person she once hated she now cares for. Like a sister. She feels more connected to Lexa then she does to Octavia and Clarke. She picks up the radio and gives it to Lexa, Lincoln sits on one side and Raven sits on the other. "It should be you to make contact Lexa" Raven says softly. Lexa nods and takes the radio from Raven she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath

"Klark?" She ask there's no response. They try for over 2 hours and Lexa is gettting restless she starts pacing. 

"I need to be there" she says to no one in particular" Raven sighs

"I know you want to be there raccoon but you can't" Lexa shakes her head she knows Raven is right. 

"They are probably having a pyre for her. I should be there with them" Lincoln stands up and moves towards her

"I know you want to be but you can not right now" he puts his hand on her shoulder "why don't you try again?" She nods 

"Klark?"

"Nope guess again" Murphy drawls Raven comes stands next to Lexa 

"Murphy where is klark?" There's silence Lexa starts thinking of worst case scenarios. Clarke might be hurt. She might be dead. Why isn't he answering. She gives Raven the radio and starts for the door. 

"No Lexa you can not leave" Lincoln says as he grabs he arm gently but firmly she pushes him away but he picks her up around the waist and pushes her on the bed. She glares at him

"I have to go Lincoln she might be in danger." Lincoln holds up his hands

"Let's wait first ok. If she is I will go with you" Lexa clenches her jaw and stands up and starts pacing again. 

"Murphy what the hell is going on commander raccoon is freaking out"

"I'll get her to radio back in 30 minutes" said Murphy quickly. Lexa Sighs in relief. She now knows that Clarke is alive. 

................................

It's been almost an hour and Lexa is getting restless again. Raven and Lincoln have spent the last hour telling Lexa she can't leave and to wait and blocking the door. Lexa wishes she had her full strength back if she did she she would fight her way out take a horse and go to Polis. Currents she is pacing again. 

"Can you stop pacing raccoon your driving me mental!" Raven says

"I can not help it little bird. It has been over 1 hour. Something has happened and I need to know what!" 

"Leksa?" Clarke said she sounded sad and tired. Lexa moved to the bed and grabbed the radio off Raven. 

"Klark! What has happened!" 

"Kat was murdered. I'm so sorry leksa" she could hear the pain in Clarkes voice through the radio. Lexa moved towards the bed and sat down next to Raven and Lincoln.

"I know I felt her death" Lexa said softly. Raven started rubbing circles on her back. 

"I'm sorry leksa"

"What happened klark? I changed the conclave so that no more nightblood children would have to be killed, I do not understand" 

"This morning was the first day of the trials and Aden, Kat and ontari had to make their statements on their policy's and what they will bring to the coalition. Aden and Kat did so well leksa you would have been so proud" Lexa smiled "aden even embarrassed the ice nation ambassador" Clarke chuckled and Lexa held her chin out proud. "Anyway after that we all went our seperate ways, I was walking through Polis and I heard a scream I knew it was a child. I ran to the noise as soon as I could but it was too late. Kat was cut so many times leksa. And then her throat was slit" Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat and starting sobbing, that whey she felt like she couldn't breath. "Leksa?" Raven takes the radio from Lexa

"Hey princess just give her a minute ok?" Raven said quietly.

"Ok." Lexa could her the crack in Clarkes voice. When she calmed down and stopped sobbing she took the radio back from Raven.

"Who did it?" Lexa said through gritted teeth. She was clenching her jaw and her sad eyes were now filled with anger.

"Ontari" 

"I will kill her" Lexa said in a low dangerous voice.

"She is already dead leksa" Clarke said softly. 

"What did you do klark?" She waited for an answer but it was silent "klark? what did you do?" 

"She was going to kill them all leksa" 

"Oh no princess!" Raven threw herself back on the bed. Lincoln shook his head and Lexa shot up from the bed.

"Klark tell me what you did?"

"I went to confront her cause I knew it was her leksa you should have seen her at the funeral pyre she was grinning! Grinning leksa. I went to her room but she wasn't there so I invited myself in to look for her, then I could hear her coming from the hall so I hid. She confessed to roan that she killed Kat. She tortured her leksa and then she told him that Aden was next! When roan left she told herself that she would kill them all, when she fell asleep I saw an opportunity so I took it. I stabbed her in the heart and then left" Lexa could hear the tears through the radio. She doesn't blame klark she did what she had to do to protect the children Lexa knows she would have done the same probably worst. 

"Does anyone suspect you?"

"Yes but.." 

"But what klark" Clarkes sighed.

"Titus took the fall" Lexa starting pacing again. "Aden is now commander. Titus will be executed tomorrow" Lexa stops pacing 

"Can I talk to him?" 

"Yes I'll ask Murphy to go get him" Lexa could her Murphy mumble something in the background. After 3 mins she could hear a commotion though the radio

"Just hold in the button" she heard Clarke say

"Lexa?" Titus said

"Sha"

"I am glad you are well Lexa" 

"Why Titus? You shot me after all" 

"I did not mean to harm you Lexa. My job as flame keeper is to guide and protect you and the flame. At the time I thought wanheda was a threat. I know now that I was wrong. I am sorry leksa"

"You should have trusted my judgement Titus! After all that I have sacrificed after all I have done you should have trusted that I was doing what was right for our people! This could have all been avoided if you had of just listened to me teacher!" 

"I know heda I am sorry, Aden has decided my fate. I have accepted it" 

"Tell me Titus if you thought klark was such a threat then why are you taking the fall for her?" 

"Because I was going to die anyway Lexa. Wanheda had to kill ontari after what she did and was going to do. I see what you see now Lexa. I am sorry I did not see it before. Wanheda is strong" Lexa sighed and shook her head in frustration "I think you should come back when you are ready leksa, i believe you would be accepted as commander again. Maybe not now as Aden has made quite the impression on the ambassadors. But maybe one day. You were born to rule leksa"

"Perhaps teacher"

"This is goodbye leksa kom trikru. I hope your fight does not end for many years" Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat. This is the man who trained her and basically raised her. He will be dying tomorrow.

"Death is not the end my friend. We will meet again. Maybe not for a long time as I do not think wanheda will let my fight end so easily" 

"Sha heda. I think you are right" she could hear him smiling though the radio. "May we meet again"

"Bye teacher" Lexa said quietly. She gave the radio to Raven and stormed out of the room with Lincoln not on her trail. He didn't try to stop her she just kept running and her kept up with her. She saw a big tree and climbed up it, Lincoln followed. She sat down on a branch and leaned back on the tree and Lincoln did the same. 

"Please Lincoln I must be alone" 

"No way heda" he smile at her. He put his arm around her shoulders. And bought her closer to his body. She melted into his arms and lent her head on his shoulder and she cried. She cried for 2 hours straight untill she had no tears. And when she stopped Lincoln never said a word about it. He just kept holding her. They made their way back to Arcadia. Raven was waiting in the room with Octavia. Octavia moved towards Lexa and put her hand on her shoulder. 

"I'm sorry Lexa? Raven told me everything" Lexa nodded

"I swear to you Octavia that I will do a much better job at helping protect your child" Octavia smiled 

"We have no doubt Lexa" Lexa nodded. Octavia and Lincoln left 

"Hey smelly raccoon why don't you take a shower then get some rest?" Lexa tried to hide her smile. But couldn't she liked Raven. As she was moving towards the bathroom Raven stood infront of her "hey listen. I no now is not the right time but Clarke is hurting too. You need to talk to her"

"Sha" Lexa replied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys like it so far?


	16. Chapter 16

"Leksa?" Clarke said. Titus had just left the room after his heartfelt goodbye to Lexa. How can she feel any sympathy for the man who almost killed the woman she loves.

"Hey princess Lexa just left I think she needs some time" Raven said through the radio "don't worry Lincoln is with her" she let out a relived sigh

"I wish I was there" Clarke said to Raven

"I don't princess, you were suppose to be there to stop that crazy bitch. Fuck only knows what would have happened if you weren't" 

"I guess" Clarke said hesitant 

"Not too much longer now princess then you can take over looking after commander grumpy" Raven joked.

"You like her" Clarke said with a grin 

"Maybe...ok she's ok. I do. the crazy raccoon has grown on me. She isn't like I had imagined princess"

"I know. Ray I feel like I have let her down" Clarkes lip trembles

"What! Oh my god Clarke you have to stop blaming yourself for everything. What were you suppose to do? Let her die?"

"No" she shook her head "I'd never allow that" Raven chuckled 

"Yeah and what were you suppose to do about ontari she was going to kill those kids who sound pretty awesome by the way Lexa talks bout them" Clarke felt a pang of jealousy. But she swallowed it. She is grateful to her friends for looking after Lexa. 

"Yeah they are" 

"Alright princess I'm gonna wait till the raccoon gets back make her shower then go to bed" again Clarke felt a pang of jealousy. Raven shouldn't be doing these things it should be her. But again she swallowed it 

"Ok ray I'll keep in touch" 

................................

Clarke heard a knock at the door. It was Aden.

"Hello Clarke may I come in" he asked curtly

"Sure" she gestured for him to come in. "What can I do for you Aden?"

"I know it was you that killed ontari Clarke, Im not here to pass judgment she deserved to die" she nods. "I am going to be commander tomorrow" he says with some uncertainty in his voice

"Yes you will be great Aden" she smiles at him but he looks hesitant "hey what's wrong" 

"Can I tell you something Clarke"

"Of course Aden" she said concerned 

"I do not wish to be heda" he said as he looked away. Clarke felt sympathy for him. It was a lot of responsibility "this is not what I wanted"

"What did you want" she asks softly

"I want Lexa to be heda. To live long and happy. To finish her quest for peace"

"And what do you want for yourself Aden" 

"I want to heal people Clarke" he said beaming "like you" Clarke smiled sadly at him. "I will take the flame tomorrow but it is not what I want"

"I'm sorry Aden" she said sincerely 

"I want to see her Clarke we all do" he rushes out. "I want you to take us to Arcadia. after the ascension" Clarke looks at him with a puzzled face

"Aden she may not want to come back to Polis to be commander again?" She said truthfully 

"I believe that there will be no heda that will ever compare to leksa Clarke, I can not possibly take he spot" Clarke grabs his shoulder

"Hey look Aden. Lexa is special. We know that but so are you aden you and the other nightblood children in your own way" he nods. 

"After my ascension I need to get things back in order here it will at least take 4 weeks Clarke I'm sorry but I need you to stay" she shakes her head to disagree "I will talk to Skaikru about them destroying their weapons. We will then see Lexa. I'm going to ask her to come back Clarke I hope you understand" he looked up at her with sad eyes. Clarke swallows thinking about going another month without seeing Lexa and Lexa coming back to Polis possibly without her 

"Aden i can't stay here for that long I have to get back and I just want Lexa to be happy" 

"I know Clarke I truely am sorry but the Skaikru need a representative here for the time being" she nodded and let a tear slip down her cheek. Aden moved forward and wrapped Clarke up in an embrace she hugged him back and kissed the top of his head "you make her happy Clarke" he said quietly. he lets her go and he bows then leaves. Clarke sighs thinking about another month before she can go back to Lexa.


	17. Chapter 17

Lexa is sitting in hers and ravens room reading a book that Raven found. It has been little over a month since she last talked to Clarke. She listens in every night though when she radios in. She still feels the loss of Kat. She sighs and sits up in her bed. 

"Hey commander grumpy !" Sing songs Raven. Lexa rolls her eyes

"Little bird" Raven throws herself on her side of the bed. She lays on her back and Lexa can see her wince in pain. "Is your leg sore?" 

"Yeah and Abby took me off duties" Lexa rolled her eyes

"She has absolutely no right to do that!" She stands up from the bed and gets a fresh change of clothes on. She feels strange wearing Skaikru clothing but has to admit she thinks it's comfortable.

"Hey we're you going" Raven leans up on her elbows.

"I'm going to go have a word with Abigail" Raven chuckles at her friend. Abby and Lexa have been bickering at each other ever since Lexa opened her eyes. Raven can tell Lexa holds back.

"It's ok really ill deal with her another day I'm too tired right now" Lexa looked at her

"She has no right Raven!" She growled 

"I know but my leg is hurting right now raccoon" Lexa nods

"Ok I'll stay with you today in here" wanting to help her new friend 

"Ok" Raven lays back and closes her eyes

Bellamy swings open the door. "Come quick!" He yells at both her and Raven follow behind him with Raven leaning heavily on Lexa. They get to the gates as they are opening. Lexa can see Aden sitting on top of her white horse with the commander sash flowing behind him. Next to him is Clarke. Her beautiful blonde hair blowing in the wind. She is searching the crowd but Lexa hides behind Bellamy and Raven. She has a hoodie on covering most her face. Her heart feels like it's going to explode so she makes her way back to the room.

...…...........................

Clarke searches the crowd for emerald eyes but can't see them she can see Bellamy and Raven though so she dismounts off her horse and Aden follows. Raven limps over to Clarke and they both embrace. 

"Princess! It's so good to see you!" Clarke had tears in her eyes

"You to Raven" Bellamy nods at Clarke "me and you have a lot to talk about but not now ok" he nods again but smiles happy to see his friend. 

"Baby!" Her mother runs at her and gives her a bone crushing hug,

"Mom. Can't. Breathe." Abby quickly lets go

"Sorry I'm just so happy to see you" Clarke smiles

"Me too" Octavia and Lincoln come to her and wave she waves back. Aden steps forward

"Everyone this is heda Aden. He is here to talk about the coalition" Aden nods

"Hello people of Arcadia" they nod back. 

"Raven where is she?" Raven looks behind her 

"She was here a minute ago?" Raven answers Clarke is getting impatient she wants to see Lexa. A group of children come running up behind Aden. They all hop around Clarke excitedly. Clarke can't hold back her smile. This is all new for these kids. Plus they know Lexa is here. Clarke leads them to ravens room. 

................................

Lexa sits on the bed. She is worried about her encounter she will no doubt be having with Clarke. She is still angry. And although she is proud to see Aden as commander. It hurt a bit. Her thoughts are distrupted as the door is slammed open and a group of children are running towards her. She smiles and opens her arms ready for the impact, they knock her back on the bed. She is laughing and looking over all the children, she failed to realise that 2 other people where in the room. When the children settled down she looked up and seen Clarke and aden. She stood up straight and tall with her hands behind her back and looks at aden 

"Heda" she says. He runs toward her and hugs her waist. She hugs him back and smiles. She grabs his face to make him look up at her. "I am so very proud of you Aden. Of all of you" she looks at the other children. He nods backs blinking back the tears of joy. All the children are chatting and bouncing up and down at the bed but then they all go silent at the same time and look towards the door where Octavia now stands. All the children get off the bed and touch her stomach. They all jump up and down in excitement. Octavia just smiles. 

Clarke hasn't taken her eyes off Lexa. Raven walks into the room

"Ok what the hell. Why is there so many smelly children in my room. They must be friends of the smelly raccoon!" All the children giggle

"Who wis the smelly waccoon?" Nessa asks

"Commander grumpy over there" all the children fall back in laughter. It makes Clarke laugh as well. Raven moves toward the bed to lie down. The children don't move and become fascinated with Ravens legs brace. 

 

Clarke has tears in her eyes looking at Lexa. After all the last time she had seen her she was close to death but here she stands in a red hoodie and tight black Skaikru pants and Skaikru boots. Her hair is pushed to one side and she is standing tall. She looks beautiful and more importantly healthy. Clarke takes a deep breath trying to control the tears of happiness that so desperately want to fall. She can't stand there silently anymore 

"Leksa" she says softly 

"Klark" leksa replies with a little bite. She removes the hoodie and throws it on Ravens desk. Raven looks between them and sighs.

"Come on you smelly children I'll take you to my workshop" they all jump up excited. Aden follows to make sure they don't get in any trouble. 

When they leave it's just Lexa and Clarke. Lexa turns her back. Clarke moves forward slowly and puts her hands on lexas waist. She feels Lexa tense at first but relaxes she then moves her hands from her waist to slide around to lexas stomach bring her body flush with lexas back. She leans her head between lexas shoulder blades and kisses the infinity tattoo where the scar is now fully healed. She feels Lexa shiver. She wraps her up tighter taking in lexas scent. 

"Leksa. It's so good to see you" Lexa doesn't respond "leksa beja, look at me I missed you" Lexa tries to move but Clarke holds her tighter. "Beja Leksa look at me, talk to me" Clarke said her voice cracking

"Klark. Let me go" Lexa said in a low voice

"Nowe"

"I do not want to talk klark" but Clarke doesn't let go. She is not going to give up. Lexa tries to move but Clarke still has her in a tight wrap. She kisses the back of lexas head. It makes Lexa shiver she pushes the feeling aside "Klark" Lexa said warningly. Clarke sighed and let go but only enough that Lexa could turn in her arms. 

"I wasn't going to let you die leksa and I am not sorry for it" Lexa pushed Clarke back gently so she could have some space. Having Clarke this close was making her feel dizzy. Her scent was overwhelming. It made Lexa feel like she had butterflies in her stomach. Lexa shook her head. 

"It's ok for you klark nothing has changed for you! You are still you and I am me but not me" she goes to leave but Clarke stands in her way.

"Please leksa. Let's talk" Clarke has watery eyes. "I know you must blame me for everything. You getting shot, Kat, Titus, but I tried my best Leksa I really tried. I didn't want anyone to get hurt I just want peace" Clarke wiped the tears from her eyes. Lexa looks away not being able to bare seeing Clarke like this. 

"No I am not ready" Lexa swallows the lump in her throat and moves out the door. Clarke is devastated She knew that this reaction would be a possibility. But it hurt none the less. When she hears the door close she sits on the bed and crys then she gets angry. Angry that she is yet again to blame for everything angry that the one person who she thought would understand can't even look at her. She squeezes shut her eyes hoping that maybe this is all a nightmare.


	18. Chapter 18

Bellamy heads to ravens room to look for Clarke. He knocks on the door but there's not answer so he walks in. Clarke is lying on the bed with tears running down her face sobbing. He quickly moves toward the bed and sits in the edge.

"Princess what's wrong?" He asks concerned that his friend my be hurt. Clarke laughs and wipes more tears from her eyes.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all" she says sarcastically and rolls away from him

"I know you don't like me right now but I'm still your friend Clarke you can tell me anything" he says softly. She sits up and takes a deep breath 

"Lexa won't talk to me. No actually she won't even look at me"

"Oh. I'm sorry" he said sincerely 

"Are you" she snapped

"Well yeah I'm sorry your upset princess" he truely is. He has grown to respect Lexa as he respects Clarke 

"I'm angry Bellamy" she gets up off the bed and starts pacing "first she left us at the mountain! After kissing me and practically telling me she cares for me! Then she gets prince sleazy of azgeda drag me to Polis for "my protection" and asks me to bow to her and have Skaikru be part of the coalition so I do it cause of course it was what is right for Arcadia. Then that crazy ice bitch went and blew up mount weather which had our people in it which by the way they shouldn't have been there! So I stayed. I stayed to be with her. I stayed to help. I stayed bellamy I could have left! But I didn't I stayed to be with her and the what does she do? Hmm she then BOWS to me! BOWS to me Bellamy and swears fealty to me, making me forget that I was angry at her and make me start loving and trusting her all over again! I then had to watch the woman I love fight in a death match against prince sleazy declared by crazy ice bitch which happens to be his mother! She almost died! She almost lost that fight! But she didn't and then she killed the crazy ice bitch and declared prince sleazy king sleazy of azgeda and then came to me later that night and I swear to you Bellamy the nightgown she was wearing! Ugh" Clarke runs her hands through her hair "so we decide to take the crazy ice bitch to Arcadia to show that the person who was responsible for most of the farm station being wiped out had been killed. We were going to deliver justice and finally start peace but what do you and Pike decide to do?" She stops pacing and looks at Bellamy "you thought it would be a smart idea to kill 300 warriors sent to protect us!" She growled. "I thought well this is it. We are gone! Skaikru will die including me but Lexa being Lexa let me try to yet again fix everyone's problems, so I went to find you to talk some damn sense into you! And you blame me for not being here you then Arrested me and tried to take me to pike!" Bellmay looks to the ground in shame "but I got out. And Lexa decides to change 100 years of tradition to stop a war putting her life in danger. Again!" She starts pacing again with her fists clenched "you and Pike then decide to try and wipe out a village to plant crops and what does Lexa do?" She stops and looks at bellmay "do you know what she did Bellamy!" Clarke growled. Bellamy shook his head "instead of wiping us out she put a blockade up and was almost killed by her own people for it!" She stops and leans on the table in the room and takes a deep breath "she asked me to stay. Did you know that" Bellamy shook his head again "she asked me to stay in Polis with her. She offered me sanctuary. With nothing in return. But Octavia guilted me into returning. So I went and we said our goodbyes. "She closed her eyes and let the tears fall thinking of the time they first made love and how at peace and happy she felt. "Then Titus decided that I would be the death of Lexa and tried to kill me but shot Lexa instead. But she is strong she lived long enough for me to bring her here so mom could save her but then I had to leave for my stupid ambassador duties to save Skaikru again!" She pushed over the chair near the table in anger. "Then shit happened in Polis and now I'm here. I'm here Bellamy and she won't even look at me!" Clarke sat down on the bed and cried. "I haven't asked for anything for myself since we landed bell. Not one thing. The one thing I want. The one thing that makes me happy won't even look or talk to me" Clarke layed back on the back and sobbed. Bellamy patted her knee. She flinched. So he pulled his hand back. 

"I'm sorry Clarke. You don't know how sorry I am but I am so so so sorry" Bellamy said through tears.

"I know bell" she shook her head "what am I going to do" she asks feeling hopeless

"Give Lexa time princess. She will come around" Clarke sat up and shook her head "look nothing I can say will make you feel better. We both know that only one person can do that but later tonight we are all getting together and drinking some on montys moonshine. You should come" 

"Ok" she said 

"After the council meeting?" 

"Sounds like a plan" Clarke said softly. Bellamy stood up and walked to the door. He stopped and turned to Clarke 

"I done some shitty things since landing Clarke. I truely regret with all my soul that I helped Pike. I will spend the rest of my life making up for it and it will never be enough" he sighed and shook his head "I know that's not much princess but that's the best I can offer" Clarke stood from the bed and wiped the tears from her eyes. She stood in front of Bellamy and seen nothing but regret and sorrow in his eyes. She believes what he says. She puts her hand on his shoulder 

"I believe you bell" she smiled softly at him. "I always thought of you as my second in command. You are not a bad person but if you want to start making things right then you need to follow my lead and trust that I know what is best for us" he nodded his head in agreement 

"I do trust you and Lexa too" Bellamy smiled at the shocked look on Clarkes face. "I respect her princess. She is not what I thought she would be. She is a born leader. Like you." Clarke smiled at him sadly thinking about Lexa. Bellamy put his hand on her shoulder "she will come round Clarke" he said with certainty in his voice. With that he left Clarke alone to process her thoughts


	19. Chapter 19

When Lexa leaves her room with Clarke behind. She felt a sense of dread. She missed Clarke everyday she was in Polis. Even though she had not talked to her much over the radio she liked listening to her voice she found it calming. She looked back at the door wanting to go back in there and assure Clarke that none of what has happened is her doing but couldn't move her legs so she headed to Ravens work station. When she walked in all the kids were trying to talk to her at once. She smiled and looked up at Raven. Raven lifted her eyebrow shook her head and rolled her eyes. Raven can tell by lexas red eyes that the conversation that her and Clarke had obviously didn't got well and she knows why

"You are a stubborn raccoon" she says to Lexa. Lexa just ignores her. Aden walks up to Lexa

"Leksa I am to be in a council meeting I was hoping that you would sit in on it"

"I do not think I am welcome there Aden" Aden smirked

"If I say so then it shall be" she chuckles 

"It would be an honour Aden but first I would like to take a walk by myself." 

"Of course" he replies

.................................

When Lexa left Ravens workshop she walked outside the gates of Arcadia near the tree line. She likes overlooking Arcadia, after a month she is still in awe of this metal contraption. She shakes her head still finding it hard to believe that this thing used to be in space and it use to be were Clarke grew up. 

"Hey there commander" said Bellamy. Lexa rolled her eyes. She thinks it's impossible to get a moments peace in Arcadia.

"It is just Lexa, Bellamy kom Skaikru" he chuckled at the formality of the former heda

"Then it's just Bellamy, Lexa" she sighed

"What do you need Bellamy kom Skaikru" she said on purpose. Bellamy laughed.

"Well commander" Bellamy said in response "I just seen the princess" Lexa snapped her head towards Bellamy. He gestured to the spot beside Lexa "can i sit"

"If I say no then you will just do it anyway" he smiled at her

"What makes you say that" he asked amused

"Because Skaikru talk to much" Bellamy laughed loud and hard 

"I guess your right!" He sat down next to her. He stopped laughing and looked at Arcadia "amazing right?" He said quietly 

"Sha. It is hard to imagine it being up there" she pointed to the sky "for 100 years"

"What are you doing here?" 

"I came to get some peace and quiet but apparently Skaikru do not know the meaning of these to words" Bellamy chuckled at Lexa 

"Your funny commander" she looked at him with one eyebrow raised

"Bellamy kom Skaikru I have been called many things in my life but never funny" she said so seriously that it made Bellamy fall back in laughter. Lexa rolled her eyes and mumbled "Skaikru are so strange" she shook her head with a frown on her face. When Bellamy stopped laughing he sat up again and looked at Lexa 

"Can I ask you something" he said softly

"You may as well you are going to anyway like I said Bellamy kom Skaikru Skaikru talk too much" he chuckled again

"Do you love her" he ask softly. Lexa threw her head back closed her eyes and sighed in annoyance.

"Why do you people feel the need to talk about everything?" She huffed out

"It's how we deal with our emotions" 

"It is ridiculous" she said annoyed

"Maybe but you are avoiding the question" she snapped her head to him

"Perhaps because you know the answer" she growled. Bellamy nodded his head. He did know that Lexa loves Clarke it's evident in the way she reacts when ever her name is mentioned or her body language when ever he was there when Clarke radioed in from Polis 

"I just came back from your room that you left her in. She is hurting too commander and I'm wondering why on earth are you so angry at her?" He asked "you seriously can't be made at the princess for saving your life? What was she suppose to do? Huh let you die?" He said annoyed. Lexa rolled her eyes again and rubbed her temples from the headache she is getting. 

"I have trained to be heda since the day I can remember. It is all I know" she sighed and looked at Bellamy. "When I was just a small child and I was training with our former heda I noticed that almost everyone in Polis had a bonded one, children, a family. I asked the former heda, his name was rouke, I asked him where his family was and why he wasn't bonded, as a child I thought if anyone would be bonded it would be heda. He had men and woman lining up to be even with in close proximity of him, to even breathe the same air as him was a privilege" she smiles remembering and also because men and woman had done the same towards her since she took command "he told me to be commander is to be alone. Titus told me the same thing. A heda dedicates their life to their people my mission my vision if I was to ever become heda was to bring peace to these lands. I asked him what was the point of training then or fighting if we are never to see what we fight for, if we are never to feel what we fight for, he told me that death is not the end, that the only peace a commander gets is in death." She swallows the lump in her throat she really doesn't want to cry in front of Bellamy. Bellamy puts his hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze showing that he is there and is listening. "Klark took my peace bellamy, I am no one now, everything that I was taught from a child I can no longer use, I am useless, I am a no body and klark did that to me, she should have let me die in peace" she said as her voice cracked. 

"Hmm. Would you have done the same Lexa. Would you have let Clarke die if it were her that was shot?" He asked. 

"No" she shook her head "no I would have fought for her but it is different"

"How so? She is a leader too, she will always bare the burden of our people" Lexa smiled at him

"Our people?" Bellamy smiled and rolled his eyes

"Yeah our people. Look I'm really sorry that you were told that basically you could never be happy but I don't believe that commander not for 1 second" she frowned at him

"And what do you believe Bellamy kom Skaikru" he grinned at her

"You and Clarke and my sister and Lincoln you have all made me realise that we can all live here and all be happy. That I don't know like life can be more then just surviving" Lexa gasped and was taken back to that day in the tent when her clad Clarke shared their first kiss. She wonders if Clarke has said the same thing to him

"Did klark tell you that?" 

"Ah no, just something I have observed over the last month" he shrugged "all I'm saying is that you can't be angry at Clarke for doing the exact same thing you would have done commander. You love each other and you should be together cause you don't know when your time will end no body knows when their fight will end right? I mean one second you could be kissing your loved one good bye then the next they could be blown up in a mountain" he turned away hiding the pain in his face thinking about Gina. Lexa moved closer to him and put her arm around his shoulder. Bellamy shook his head and looked at Lexa shocked that she is side hugging him. She shrugged 

"I am new at this friends thing Bellamy kom Skaikru, Raven does this sometimes when I am sad is this normal" Bellamy laughed at her and shook his head. He put his arm around her waist

"You are so funny commander we should talk more I like talking to you" he tease she shook her head and got him in headlock, he started laughing uncontrollably 

"No! No more talking!" She joked and she started wrestling him

.......................................

After Lexa had her talk with Bellamy she went back to Ravens work station. Raven suggested she stay with the children. She liked their company and practically knows everything about them from all the stories Lexa has told. Herself and Aden are led to the council chambers followed by 4 guards who looks at Lexa like she grew 2 heads. They are shocked to see their former heda alive let alone in Skaikru clothing. She grins. 

....................................

Aden stands at the head of the table with Lexa sitting on his right and Kane on his left. Also present in the room is Octavia, Lincoln, monty and Abby. Clarke comes in after everyone is seated. Her eyes are bloodshot. She has been crying and she is tired. Even though there are plenty of seats in the room without even a second thought she sits next to Lexa. Clarke doesn't look at her her attention is on Aden. Clarke leans back on the chair and crosses her arms. Lexa can tell she is angry

"Now that we are all here we can get started" said Aden "I am happy to keep Skaikru as the 13th clan but under one condition and this is non negotiable. All Skaikru weaponry are to be destroyed" the room is filled the with noise of chatter and mumbles. Aden stands there with his hands behind his back and Lexa grins.

"You can not be serious! You are taking away our safety!" Yells Bellamy. Clarke hits her fist on the table and stands up. She points to Bellamy 

"You will not speak to your heda this way Bellamy" he looks at her and nods and looks directly at Aden.

"I apologise But you must understand that our guns are for our protection" he said in a more calm tone. Clarke sat down and looked at Aden. 

"Bellamy kom Skaikru let me make myself very clear Your weapons will be forfeited or Skaikru will be kicked out of the coalition" Bellamy looks to Lexa and she nods at him. He trusts Lexa and if she thinks this was ok he was ok with it too. Kane looks at Clarke

"Clarke what is your take on this" she looks around the room

"I already forfeited my gun the moment our former headed was shot and nearly killed, we use the same weapons as the mountain men who had been torturing and draining people of their blood for 100 years. These people have lived well for 100 years without guns. We can too" she shrugged. She still hasn't looked at Lexa. But Lexa was looking at Clarke quite intensely. 

Bellamy stood up "I agree too" everyone looked at him shocked. He shrugged "sorry heda Aden for speaking out of turn but I trust Clarke and Lexa and if they think we can be safe without our guns then I'm on board" he sits back down and smiles at Lexa and Clarkes direction. 

Monty leans forward "do you agree with this Lexa" Lexa nodded and smiled at monty

"Yes monty kom Skaikru I do believe it is for the best. While every clan has a different way of living and a different way of governing, your weaponry is a threat even if you all believe it is not. Like klark stated you all use the same weapons as the mountain men and while they are no longer a threat they will always leave a shadow over these lands as there is 100 years of bad history and while ever you use the same weapons as them they will fear you the same. That will make trading very difficult and you will all learn that trade is essential" 

Kane nodded. He looked around the room. "I agree. Heda that will not be a problem" Aden nods

"Good. When all of your weapons are destroyed you will be given swords knives and bow and arrows. I will also have a blacksmith teach some of your people how to make weapons and I will leave warriors to train Skaikru" Kane nods

"Thank you heda" 

"Go organise it chancellor" Kane stands up but not before Clarke who bolts out of the room. Aden and Lexa are left in the room. She smiles at him

"You did well" 

"Thank you" he said sincerely. "Leksa can you come home?" He asks softly. Home she thinks. She shakes her head. She doesn't have a home any more.

"I do not have a home anymore Aden" he grabs her hand

"Your home will always be in Polis" she looks at the door that Clarke abruptly left thinking of where Clarke will go after all of this. Aden sees this. "Clarke can come too leksa" he smiles at her.

"I am not heda anymore Aden. Why would she want to go with me? Her people are here" she says with a lump in her throat. Aden nods

"You can still be heda Lexa. I will stand down. None of the nightbloods will challenge you. While ever you are alive you will always be our heda. It feels wrong that I have this title I did not work for it. I do not deserve it I only took the flame cause you were not their to take it" she looks at him with sympathy "I do not want to be heda" he says sadly.

"What do you want to be Aden" he smiles at her

"I want to be a healer like Clarke" he beams. She looks at him and smiles she already knew that he wanted to be a healer. They way he tended to the nightbloods when they were injured she was sure that's what he wanted "I know I have been trained to be heda, but there will be no one that can do what you have done leksa" she looks a way with watery eyes. Aden is giving her a choice to go back to Polis and take her throne back but how can she when Clarke is in Arcadia. She could stay but how would Clarke be able to be with her when she is nothing and she could not possibly ask Clarke to leave her people to be with her once she is commander not to mention her life would be in danger. Aden notices the worry in lexas eyes

"Leksa may I make a suggestion" she nods "talk to Clarke" she stands up and he stands up with her. He steps to her and give her a bone crushing hug around her waist "leksa if you want to stay here I will stay heda. I promise I will not hold it against you. If anyone deserves happiness it is you and if being here with Clarke makes you happy you should do it." She runs his hand though his hair and kissed the top of his head. 

"Thank you Aden. I will talk to Clarke" he smiles at her and leaves the room. She is so proud of him. She smiles at the person he has become and the person he continues to be. Out of all she has accomplished her nightbloods are what make her the most proud. She leaves the council room to find Clarke


	20. Chapter 20

Clarke is sitting around a camp fire with monty, Harper, octavia, Lincoln and Raven. She has been drinking heavy for the last 2 hours trying to forget why she is angry and hurt. Lexa. Bellamy sits next to her with more moonshine.

"There you are princess, you left the council room so quick" Bellamy said quietly so no one could hear

"I didn feel wanted bell" she slurred. Bellamy laughed. 

"So dramatic princess" she laughed and bumped his shoulder. He leaned into her "the commander will always want you princess" he teased she frowned at him

"Ewww bell Aden is a child" Bellamy laughed 

"Not Aden Lexa" 

"Oh. Welllllll sheee can kiss my ass" she mumbles

...............................

 

Lexa finds Clarke a couple of hours later. It's now late and she is sitting around a fire leaning heavily on Bellamy drinking what she can only assure is montys moonshine. Around the fire sits Raven, octavia, Lincoln, monty, Monroe and Harper. She feels a pang of jealousy as Bellamy leans into whisper something in Clarkes ear that makes her laugh. Lexa makes a beeline to the area and stands there awkwardly.

"Hey raccoon! Want a drink!" Says Raven excitedly 

"No thank you little bird the last time you had some of montys moonshine you were sick for days. and because you think I'm a friend now I was obligated to look after you. It was disturbing. I would rather avoid that" the group laughs. She looks at Clarke who is now glaring at Lexa. She is swaying in her spot. She clearly is drunk. Bellamy goes to give Clarke some more moonshine 

"Bellamy kom Skaikru do you not think that klark has had enough?"She says in a threatening voice Bellamy freezes and looks up to Lexa and nods . Clarke looks up to her and snatches the bottle from Bellamy and swallows a mouthful

"Clarke can think for herself" She slurs and then leans into Bellamy again. Lexa clenches her jaw. Raven gets up from her spot and pokes lexa in her jaw.  
"Hey fellow delinquents she is doing that thing with her jaw again. That means she is not happy!" Raven and the rest laugh "we wouldn't want a repeat of what happened in the mass hall yeah!" Raven says and Lexa glares at her. Raven backs up with her hands on the air and mumbles something about crazy raccoons. 

.....................................

A week or 2 ago in Arcadia 

Raven and Octavia lead Lexa to the mess Hall for breakfast. Everyone now knows that Lexa is in Arcadia and is no longer commander. They don't fear her they are more curious then anything else. She walks up to where breakfast is being served there is a line up of people with trays. When it is her turn to get her food a man practically throws mush on to her tray. He looks at her with a glare. He is older in his 30s his is bald and chubby and he just doesn't look like a pleasant person. He looks at her challenging her to say something about her food and the treatment she got but Lexa just smirked. 

"Is there a problem?" He spat at her. Lexa held her chin up high

"Yes actually I was wondering how you expect the people of Arcadia to live day by day eating this.....what's the word I am looking for little bird" she looks to Raven and Raven chuckles 

"The word you are looking for raccoon is shit" Lexa looks back to the unpleasant man

"Ah yes. Shit" he glares at her

"Eat it or starve grounder!" He snarled at her. Lexa clenches her jaw

"Is this what you eat?" He looks away guilty "I am assuming by your guilty look this is not what you eat" she says simply. The whole mess hall is Looking and listening to her now.

"The guards and the workers get first priority from the hunting parties" the man hissed "you grounder bitch!" Lexa clenched her jaw again. She put the tray down in front of her calmly. She quickly reached over the bench grabbed the front of his shirt then smashed his head on the tray. She turned him over and started shoving the mush in to his mouth. He started gagging. Raven started laughing with wide eyes while the rest of the mess hall watched 

"If you can not stomach this, How do you expect everyone else to?" She pushed him off the bench and he hit the floor with a thud. He stood up and started spitting out the food. Monroe, Lincoln and Octavia and all the delinquents stood up to the bench and looked at the man and started laughing. When he stopped spitting out the food he moved toward Lexa but she just stood their Calmly. 

"Stay where you are bill!" Spat Bellamy he stopped as all the delinquents got closer to Lexa. She stood there surprised that these people seemed to be trying to protect her. Harper looked at Lexa.

"Commander what would you suggest so we don't have to eat this crap anymore" Lexa nodded and chose to ignore the use of her old title.

"Harper is it?" Harper nodded "Harper I would suggest larger and more frequent hunting parties each party should have someone who is skilled at hunting so that this person can teach the rest of the people how to hunt. It will take time but soon enough food with become more frequent and more plentiful. As it stands Arcadia only has a small hunting party that leaves once a day and only brings back enough to satisfy people like this......" she points to bill and turns to Raven "what is the word I am looking for little bird?" Raven looks at her and still laughing 

"The world you are looking for raccoon is asshole" she points at bill again

"Ah yes. Like this asshole" the delinquents all laugh and pat Lexa on the back. Lexa hides her smile.

"We do not take orders from you" bill spits

"No but you will take your orders from me" says Kane as he walks over. "I assume this arrangement was made when Pike was in charge well he isn't anymore and Lexa didn't make an order she made a suggestion one that we are grateful for" he looked at Lexa and smiles she nodded back to him. Kane took Bellamy aside to organise the new hunting arrangements. Lexa sat down at a table and all the delinquents followed and sat down around her. Raven was still laughing and she sat down next to Lexa she threw her arm around lexas shoulder and wiped the tears from her eyes. 

"Fellow delinquents we now know that when Lexa does that jaw thing shit is going down!" She says and starts laughing. Lexa grinned and shook her head. 

.........................................

 

Present

 

"Klark I would like to talk to you" Clarke stands up unsteady of her feet, she walks up to Lexa and pokes her in the chest

"Ive bin tryin ta tawk ta ya every. every. every day since I left" she hiccups "n Nowa ya wanna tawk an an ya what? Huh spect me ta come a runnin?" She stumbles back

"Klark you are drunk" Lexa says softly. 

"Mmmm yup!" She pops the p. 

"Will you come with me to my room and I will give you some water and you can rest" lexas asks softly. Clarke rubs her chin.

"Mmmm nahhhhh. Iya feel great!" She throws her hands up in the air. 

"Maybe you have had enough princess" says Raven. Clarkes smile turns into a frown. She points at Raven 

"You" she says in a low voice. "Ya don tell me what ta do" Raven steps forward to place her hand on lexas shoulder to advise her to go back to the room. But before she could Clarke pushes her back and she lands on the ground . "don touch her!" She yells. Bellamy gets up to hold back Clarke and Lexa kneels beside Raven and helps her up. "Oh" Clarke says "i see the way it 'tis, well ya can have her Rayes. She no good anyways" Clarke says with watery eyes. Lexa swallows the lump in her throat and blinks away the tears. All the delinquents shift and are uncomfortable. Lexa makes her way quickly back to her room.

........................................

Raven watches as Lexa leaves the group. She walks up to Clarke and slaps her hard in the face. Clarke holds her cheek and looks at Raven with hurt in her eyes. 

"There's no point in talking to you cause you are drunk but you are going to regret this in the morning princess" She shakes her head. "O make sure griffin finds her room. " Octavia nods then Raven leaves to find Lexa. 

"Of course. Cmon princess" Octavia says holding out her hand. Clarke flinched back and landed into Bellamys chest 

"Princess you have had enough its time to sleep it off" says Bellamy holding her by the shoulders trying to shake him off

"What I need is ta drink more" she moved towards monty to get some more moonshine but monty stood up and held out his hands

"No Clarke. No more" he said calmly. Clarke is starting to get angry now.

"Sooooo you" she spins around pointing at all her friends "alllll of ya jus do whatever leksa and Raven says huh?" Monroe stood up next to monty

"Come on Clarke let's get you to your room you will feel better in the morning" Harper said softly. She held montys hand and monty smiled at her. She looked at Octavia who's hand was being held by Lincoln 

"You seeeee!!!" She yells and she points to the hand holding by both couples "that! That right there is what I want" her eyes water "issss tha tooomhard ta ask?" She shakes her head. Octavia walks up to Clarke and hugs her, Clarke try's to shake her off but Octavia is strong after a minute Clarke just gives up and hugs Octavia back. She rest her head on Octavia shoulder and sobs "I love her O so fucking much" she says through her tears

"We know princess, we know" Octavia pulls away from the hug and holds her by the shoulders. Harper walks up and beside her and wipes the tears from her eyes. Monty walks up behind Clarke and hugs her tightly. Bellamy holds her shoulder. Lincoln just stands in the background and smiles softly at her. "Come on, let's get you to bed" she nods. Harper gets Clarkes arm and throws it around her shoulder to steady her. Bellamy does the same on the other side. Clarke looks to Harper.

"I'm happy for you you know" Harper smiles.

"We know princess" she looks ahead at Octavia 

"I'm happy for you and Lincoln too Octavia" Octavia looks back and smiles

"We know princess" Clarke looks at Bellamy. He looks just as sad as her. She whispers loudly to him. 

"Fuck those happy fuckers" The whole group laughs including Bellamy. He kisses the top of her head.

"She will come around princess. You might have to work a bit harder now though" Clarke stops suddenly remembering what she said

"Oh no, I gotta go find her bell I gotta tell her I love her and I lover her" Bellamy and Harper laughs.

"You love her and you lover her?" Repeats Harper

"Yeah you get me Harper can you help me back to her room" All the delinquents yelled out no.

"Cmonnnn I won't push Raven again I plomise" she hiccups 

"Princess let's get you to your bed, you don't wanna do anything stupid" Octavia says slowly trying to get through to the drunk woman

"Oooo do you think and and ya gotta be 1000000 percent honesty with me awight, do you think that she is fucking Raven right now, now remember ya gotta be honesty with me ok?" Octavia rolled her eyes and huffed. She walked right up to Clarkes face

"Princess. I am so going to yell at you tomorrow morning. No she is not now get your ass to your bed so you can sleep this off" she said firmly 

"Ok" said Clarke 

 

.........................................

When Raven returns to her room Lexa is face down in her pillow. She hears lexa sniffle. Raven goes to her side of the bed and lays down. 

"I make no excuses for the princess raccoon but she did have a point. She has been trying to talk to you for over a month now. You have rejected her at every turn except to tell her not to share a bed and to hear the news of Kat and I'm guessing you shut her down before when I took the nightbloods to my workshop" Lexa sighed 

"Perhaps" she says softly. 

"She didn't mean it Lexa. She is drunk" she turns to look at raven 

"I am leaving Arcadia little bird. I am going back to Polis" Raven placed her hand over lexas 

"Don't leave cause of this Lexa. She didn't mean it. I promise you she will wake up tomorrow feeling terrible. I know you don't believe me but she loves you" Raven says softy "talk to her" Lexa nods "get some rest raccoon you look like shit" Lexa smiles closes her eyes and falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta say the next chapter is like my fav chapter. Hope you all like this chapter as well


	21. Chapter 21

Clarke wakes up with a pounding headache and a dry mouth she groans and rolls over. Octavia is sitting by her bed. She hands her a glass of water. Clarke sits up and drinks it.

"Please tell me last night I had a nightmare about being drunk and telling Lexa she was no good" Octavia shook her head

"Sorry princess that really happened" Clarke threw her head back. She didn't mean to say those things but she was drunk and seeing how close Raven had become to Lexa made her jealous and her drunkness just made it worst. 

"What am I going to do O? She wouldn't talk to me before she definitely won't now!" 

"Hmm well I think the first thing you need to do is shower and brush your teeth because you reek" Clarke grunts and gets up to go shower. When she gets out Octavia is still in the room arms across her chest she looks pissed before Clarke can say anything Octavia is in her face. She pokes Clarke in her shoulder 

"How in the fuck can you think that Raven would sleep with Lexa knowing how much she means to you!" She yells "what the hell is your problem princess! You asked us to care for her well guess what we do! We all care for Lexa! What you did to Raven last night how you spoke to the woman who you apparently love was in inexcusable! How you insinuated that they had been unfaithful was fucked up!" She pokes Clarke in her chest again. 

"I'm sorry" Clarke said softly "she hasn't talked to me for a month O she hates me so me thinking that she moved on was not that far fetched" Octavia shook her head

"Maybe Clarke but Raven would never do that to you and now that I have come to know Lexa I know she wouldn't either" Octavia said annoyed

"I know I just got jealous" she said quietly 

"I know that too princess but this has got to stop" she said sternly

"Yeah"

"Go find your commander" said Octavia

"Thanks o" 

....................................

On the way to Raven and lexas room she pumps into her mother

"Oh sweetheart sorry I didn't see you" she helped Abby pick up the first aid kit she dropped. " I was just on my way to check lexas wound"

"I can do that mom!" Clarke says quickly "I mean I am on my way there now so" she shrugs. Abby smiles and hands her the first aid kit

....................................

Lexa hears a knock on the door. She assumes it's Abby since she has been checking on her everyday at this exact time. 

"Enter" she says. She looks up to see Clarke. She sits on the bed shocked and lost for words.

"Hello leksa" Clarke mumbles out. "I have come to check your wound" Lexa shakes her head

"Your mother is capable is she not?" Clarke ignores her and moves toward the bed. 

"Yes but I offered" she sat down next to the brunette and opened the kit. "Can you lay down please?" Lexa rolled her eyes but did as she was requested. Once she was down Clarke slowly lifted her shirt up. Lexa shivers at her touch. Clarke try's not to stare at lexas abs and she bites the inside of her cheek to stop herself from running her fingers over them. She pulls back the bandage that was covering the wound. She lightly touched it. "Wow mom was right this is healing really well" she cleaned it and re wrapped it with a clean bandage. Lexa sat up.

"Ok if that is all I have to pack" Lexa says as she stands up. Clarke looks confused

"Pack?" She says but Lexa doesn't answer she grabs the bag Raven said she could use and takes some of the clothes she said she could have. "Leksa are you leaving?" Clarke asks with a sad voice. 

"Sha" lexa said without looking at her. Clarke gets up from the bed and moves behind Lexa. She grabs her elbow gently and turns her around. Clarke has tears in her eyes and her lip is trembling.

"Leksa what I said last night I didn't mean it. I was upset. I was jealous, I was drunk." She moves forward and uses both her hands to cup her jaw "you are so good leksa" Lexa removes Clarkes hands and walks around her and sits on the bed. Clarke kneels infront of her. "Please leksa talk to me, I'm sorry about Kat and Titus " Clarke pleads Leksa clenches her jaw. She thought about what Raven said to her last night. She does have to talk to Clarke. She sighs

"Klark I do not blame you for that, ontari killed Kat n Titus chose his fate" Clarke grabbed lexas hand "You were right Clarke I am no good. At least when I was commander I could protect you. I am nothing now. A nomad with no family and no home and if I become commander again your life would be in danger. You deserve better then me." Clarke shakes her head and starts crying. 

"No please leksa I didn't mean it. I was jealous of you and Raven I was drunk you are leksa kom trikru. You are not nothing. You are you" she leans forward and places her head on lexas lap "and you do have a family. I am your family" Lexa runs her hand through Clarkes hair. She let's tears fall down her face. 

"These people here are your family and I will not ask you to leave them" leksa said softly."you should have let me die klark" Lexa said with a lump in her that. Clarke shook her head 

"no! No I couldn't because I love you damn it Lexa!" Clarke stands up and starts pacing "I love you! I thought you were dead! And I was hugging you clinging to you hoping I would wake up from one of my nightmares wrapped up in your arms. But nothing. Just stillness and dread, and the feeling I felt when I thought I had lost you. I felt like I died. Like right in that moment my heart would simply stop beating" She moved and kneeled down infront of Lexa again and look her hands." But then, then I kissed your neck right here" Clarke softly touches lexas pulse point and it makes Lexa shiver "and I felt a beat. It was slow and soft but it was enough leksa. I felt my heart beat again. I felt I could breathe, I felt like living and fighting for you" Lexa wiped the tears from Clarkes eyes "and I will never apologise for you being alive I will never. ever apologise for saving your life. ever. But I am sorry you think you have lost everything but leksa you will never lose me" 

Clarke sat up and moved leksa legs so she could be between them. She wrapped her arms around lexas back and nuzzled in to lexas neck placing small kisses on her pulse point. Lexa held on to the sheets tightly trying not to react. Clarke kissed her way up lexas neck and to her jaw. Lexa closed her eyes. Clarke kissed her on the corner of her mouth then another on her lips and another until Lexa couldn't take it anymore when Clarke kissed her again she parted her mouth and cupped the back of Clarkes necks and pushed her tongue inside Clarkes mouth. Clarke moaned and started desperately pulling Lexa closer to her and starting fighting for dominance. Lexa stopped so she could breathe but that only made Clarke push her back on the bed. Lexa layed there watching Clarke look up to her from between her legs she kisssed her thigh. And even though Lexa was wearing pants the soft warm feeling was sending tingles to her centre. Clarke continued to kiss her way up lexas legs till she got to her waiste line. Then slowly lifted up her shirt, then slowly licked up her abs leaving trails of little bites. lexa moaned. How did this discussion turn into this she thinks. Clarke then lifts up the rest of lexas shirts off so that it's exposing her wrapped chest and bullet wound. She lightly kisses her wound. She is now kneeling in between lexas legs leaning down sucking of lexas neck. She bites her ear gently and that makes Lexa whimper and shake. 

"You are my family" she whispered and kissed her lobe. She moved so both her hands where beside lexas head and she was looking down directly into lexas eyes. She kisses lexa gently on her lips. "You are my home" she says as she looks into those emerald eyes. "And you will always just be leksa to me" she leans down and kisses the other side of her neck and whispers in her ear "my leksa" she says in a low husky seductive voice. Lexa moaned and leaned forward so she could kiss Clarke. She grabbed her waist and then flipped her so she was straddling her. She cupped the right side of Clarkes face while nibbling on her pulse point making Clarke moan in pleasure beneath her. "Leksa" Clarke moaned. "Leksa" Lexa stopped and looked down at Clarke. Clarke gently put her hand through lexas hair and then cupped her cheek while her thumb stoke lightly over her lips. "Leksa, I love you. I love my people my mother and my friends but I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I would follow you anywhere on earth and just be happy that I'm beside you. Whether you are the commander, a warrior, a blacksmith a baker, someone who looks after the horses I wouldn't care as long as I was with you" Lexa an feel the tears pool on her eyes looking down at this incredible woman, she smiles and leans forward and kisses Clarke on the lips. 

"I love you too klark and I would also follow you where ever you would go but if I go back to Polis the uncertainty. It scares me. I do not want to put you in danger. I could not live with myself if anything ever happened to you" Clarke smiles at her

"Do you really think you could stop me from going to Polis leksa" Clarke smirks at her, Lexa chuckles 

"I suppose not" Lexa let's herself down so she is half on top of Clarke and her nose is nuzzled into Clarkes neck. Clarke spreads her legs a little so lexas leg can rest against her centre. She gasps and bites her bottom lip. She wraps an arm around lexas back and with her other hand she rubs up and down the back of lexas thigh that is sitting against her centre.

"What ever you decide I will be right beside you leksa" Clarke says she moves her hand to lexas ass and squeezes. Lexa lets out a moan and starts kissing Clarkes neck again. 

"Ok" leksa replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so in the last chapter I put that this chapter is my fav but it's actually the next chapter that I like best so I have decided to pot both of them today


	22. Chapter 22

Clarke and Lexa lay beside each other naked under the blankets looking into each other eyes. Clarke was playing with lexas brown locks while Lexa was rubbing circles on Clarkes back. They had been making love for hours and neither one can wipe the smile off their face. Clarke leans forwards and kissed Lexa gently and softly on her lips. 

The door burst open with Raven standing there hands on her hips

"Really! Raccoon! I fucking sleep there!" Both Clarke and Lexa jumped and held each other hiding their laughs. They turned towards the door when they hear children's giggles. The nightbloods stood around Raven covering their mouths giggling "It's bout time but honestly Clarke couldn't you find another place!" Raven threw her hands in the air. The children fell to the floor laughing. Clarke and Lexa burst out in laughter holding each other.

"Raven what is taking so long I asked you to round up the nightblood children to do a check up" Abby walked into the room and turned around as quickly as she could. "Oh! Clarke Griffin you know there are locks on the doors right?" Abby scolds. Raven burst out in laughter she joined the children on the floor. Who were still laughing hard. Clarke covered her face with the blanket. 

"Raven have you got the children yet O is getting impatient she is setting up a game of soccer" ballamy walked into the room and seen Lexa and Clarke and smirked "well well what do we have here" he smirked at Lexa. Lexa rolled her eyes 

"All of you out!" She snapped trying to hide her smile.

"Fuck bell the kids are here you said they would be in medical!" Octavia came into the room. She looked at the scene around her and chuckled. "Well now I know what the hold up is" Clarke emerged from under the blanket 

"Why don't you all come in and make yourself comfortable" Clarke says sarcastically. Lexa smiled. 

"Are we playing some soccer or what?" Harper says as she walks in the room with monty

"Oh Clarke I'm so sorry" monty quickly covered his eyes. 

"Is this really happening?" Clarke asked Lexa.

"It seems so" Lexa smiled.

"Hey has anyone seen Clarke I can't find her anywhere" in walks Jasper. He stops and gives a cheeky grin to Clarke. "There you are, ok does anyone else think this is hot?" He looks around the room. Lexa rolls her eyes and throws the pillow at his head "ow!" He rubs his head 

"Ok everyone get out now" Clarke says calmly. Just as she said that Aden walks in. He lifts an eyebrow and chuckles.

"This can only happened to you wanheda, everybody out" Raven and the children were still laughing as they left. The rest followed them out. And closed the door. Jasper was the last to leave he looked at Clarke.

"Clarke I would really like to talk to you when you are up and ready" she was shocked at how kind he seemed to be towards her. 

"Of course jas I'll come find you" he smiles and leaves. She turns to Lexa with a shocked face "wow I can't believe he wants to talk to me. I was sure he hated me"

"I may have had a word to him" she shrugged

"Of course you did" she leaned in and gave Lexa a chaste kiss on the lips. "Come on let's shower"

........................…..........

A week ago after the mess hall incident.

Lexa and Raven walk to her work station, Raven stops and leans against the wall rubbing her hip. Lexa has noticed that Ravens limp is slightly worst then this morning. She looks at Raven concerned. 

"How bad is it little bird" Raven has tears in her eyes

"Pretty bad" she replies

"Can you walk back to our room?" Raven looked away and shook her head. Lexa turns around and bends down to allow Raven to hop on her back

"Lexa you are still hurt" Lexa rolled her eyes

"It hurts no longer. It itches more then hurts, i would not offer if I could not handle it little bird" Raven nods. Lexa turns around and Raven carefully climbs on lexas back. Lexa steadys herself. Raven has her arms around lexas neck and lexa has hold on Ravens thighs. "For someone who eats a lot of mush little bird you are quite heavy" Lexa smirks. Raven playfully punches Lexa in her arm. When they reach the room Raven goes to lay down straight away. Lincoln knocks on the door. 

"Lexa I thought we could go hunting" he smiles at her

"I would love to Lincoln but Raven is injured and needs tending too, apparently friends do this type of thing" Raven chuckles 

"Get out of here you silly raccoon I'm fine" Lexa looks at Raven unconvinced "really Lexa I just need to rest off it I'll be ok go fetch me some food!" Raven says jokingly. Lexa nods then leaves. 

Lexa has her sights on a dear she has her bow and arrow pointed at it ready for the kill. She wants to take back some decent food for Raven she figures it might make her feel better, just as sh is about to release the arrow She feels something cold and hard against her head. She watches as the deer scurries off

"Put it down now" Lexa rolls her eyes annoyed at the interruption and loss of game. She turns around and is face to face with an arker. He looks familiar "do you know who I am"

"No" she say says annoyed.

"My name is Jasper and it's cause of you and Clarke that everyone in mount weather were wiped out" he spits 

"Ok"

"Ok? That's it?" He asked annoyed

"It seems to me like you would like an apology but you are not going to get one from me. So get it over with. Kill me" she says calmly. He presses the gun hard to her forehead

"You don't think I will?" He asked angrily. "There were good people in that mountain"

"I have no doubt" she said calmly.

"I'll kill you"

"Then do it Jasper kom Skaikru" he looks at her. He has tears running down his face. 

"I loved her" he says softly. Lexa felt some sympathy for this idiot. She hit away his gun annoyed that she is feeling anything at all. He sits against the tree. She huffs thinking about going hunting again but this Jasper is friends with Clarke and he blames Clarke. She sat down next to him. 

"Do you truely blame Clarke for what she had to do?" 

"Yes I was going to fix everything. I was going to kill the president" Lexa shook her head

"They were never going to stop Jasper kom Skaikru, they had been draining our people for 100 years. They were not just going to stop cause you killed their leader"

"There were good people in that mountain" he said angrily 

"There were more bad then good, if there were more good the bad they would have stopped what they were doing 100 years ago" he shook this head

"No they had no choice they were doing what they did to survive" 

"They were surviving they did have a choice they were given one many years ago. They decided their fate" he looked at her puzzled 

"When did they have a choice" he wiped the tears from his eyes. She sighed. And huffed. She bit the inside of her cheek. 

"I am telling you this not because I like you but because klark does" she hissed he nodded. "As commander we have access to history books and as commander I can speak to previous commanders. I know for a fact our people tried to help the mountain men" she sighed "19 years after the bombs fell our first commander, her name was becca had formed a clan. The trikru clan. The trikru clan lived in the trees. We are the oldest of the clans. Becca and her generals had noticed that people were going missing and it was happening near the mountain. There were stories from children of men in suits with weaponry from the old world. Becca took her best generals to the area of where people had gone missing. Legend goes she walked right up to the door of mount weather and waited for someone to emerge while her generals stayed hidden amongst the trees" Lexa smiles proudly "5 men in suits came out of the door guns raised yelling at her, she just said calmly that she wanted to talk to the leader to negotiate peace. They left her standing out there without a word but becca was stubborn and incredibly smart so she waited. She had been waiting till sundown when the door once again opened and out came one man. He called himself the president. She told him that her people had gone missing and that the mountain men where the ones who could have done it. He did not deny the allegation just stood there and listened. She offered him a clean slate and told him she wanted to live in peace. She handed him a map that allowed the mountain men plenty of land where they could hunt and be left alone. She told him no one else had to die. He took the map and told her he would discuss what was best with his people and to meet him in the same place tomorrow at sundown" Lexa took a deep breath. Jasper sat there taking it all it 

"What happened when she went back" he asked afraid of the answer.

"Becca took the same generals to the same area. She was confident that the mountain men would accept her offer of peace but she was wrong. When she got there and the doors opened the same man walked out. He tore up the map and threw it at becca and before she could react. He pulled out his gun and shot her between the eyes, her generals rushed forward to fight the mountain man but the mountain men released the acid fog killing them all but 1, his name was Alexander and he was beccas son. He ran away from the acid to the nearest village where he informed everyone to stay away from the mountain and rushed back to Polis when he arrived at the gates there were people all around who looked worried and concerned, he was confused there was no way they could know about what had happened. See what he didn't know nor becca was that the children of Polis heard that becca had been trying to make peace with the men in the suits so they followed becca and her generals. There was 54 of them they ranged between 5 to 12 summers old. They all died when the mountain men released the acid fog" Jasper gasped and covered his mouth

"That's-that is so- fucked up!" 

"Yes it was. Alexander was the second commander and he was the first one to implement blood must have blood. He promised his people revenge for their fallen children. That promise was the only thing keeping society in tact. He came up with a way to warn people of the acid fog, so you see Jasper kom Skaikru, I can not apologise for saving my people the same as Clarke can not either. They were given a choice back then and from what I heard Clarke also gave them a choice as well. They chose their fate and the fate of their children"

"But Maya was good" he said softly

"Yes she was. She helped saved you all. That is why I wrote her name in our record keeping books in Polis. There is a whole section dedicated to her and how she helped save us all" Jasper looked at her surprised. "Clarke suggested that you add to it I was going to ask after the summit but then pike and the ice queen happened" He nodded "Clarke entered information even a drawing of her. She wrote most of what happened in mount weather but the most she wrote about was about Maya. It was not easy the choice she had to make" he nodded at her. And wiped his eyes

"I know" he sighed "it hurts" 

"It does and the pain will become less and less" she said softly "it will never truely leave you but one day when you think of her instead of feeling sad you will smile thinking it is better to have loved and lost then to not have loved at all" he smiled

"I would really love to read that book" he said 

.................................

Present 

Clarke found Jasper sitting and watching Harper and Octavia trying to teach the nightblood children to play soccer. She sat down beside him. 

"Hey" he said smiling

"Hey" she said back. He threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. 

"You were given an impossible choice I understand that now princess. I know you wouldn't have hurt Maya if you had an option to save her. I'm not going to forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. We were at war. Maya was a causality" Clarke put her hand around his waist and looked at him. She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket

"Here" she said he took the drawing and gasped. He smiled with tears in his eyes. She gave him a drawing of Maya.

"This is beautiful." He hugged her. Her smile grew as Lexa walked out near the children, Harper was explaining the rules to her. the brunette shook her head

"You want me to kick this round object into that net?" Lexa asked

"Yeah" Harper said

"Ok everyone move!" She yelled, everyone scattered away and she kicked the ball into the net. Clarke and Jasper laughed. "That was not a challenge at all Harper kom Skaikru 

"That's not the way you play commander. Everyone has to try and stop you and also you have to try and stop them from getting the ball in the net" lexa rolled her eyes. 

"Fine give me the ball" monty kicked the ball to her. She charged down the centre of the field and knocked monty and Harper out of the way and scored. Clarke and Jasper were clutching their stomachs laughing. Lexa looks at Harper with a smirk

"Ah ok you can't do that either" she stood up dusting off the dirt. Raven jumped on lexas back.

"Ok you smelly children I have made it fair! Try get past me and the smelly raccoon!" She yelled. The children all ran past her and scored. Lexa looked grumpy. Clarke walked up to Lexa still laughing 

"Maybe sports is not your style Ai hondes" she cupped lexas cheek and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips

"Ewwwww" Raven playfully pushed Clarke away "get a room. That isn't mine" she said from lexas back. 

"Does that mean we have to find another shower as well little bird" 

"Arrgh gross!" She punched Lexa in the arm. Lexa grinned and gave Clarke one last kiss before she continued to play with the children.

Clarke sat back down beside Jasper and was joined by Octavia. Octavia gave her a sly smile. 

"You gonna have her babies" she teased

"Not before I marry her" she smirked. Octavia sat there shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter


	23. Chapter 23

Clarke was lying beside Lexa propped up on her elbow tracing the tattoos on lexas back, it brings back memories of the first time they made love. She smiles at the memory. The night before Clarke and Lexa had been up all night making love again. This time though they were in Clarkes room although Octavia had barged into the room late at night and yelled that they were being to noisy and something about who fucks at 2 o clock in the morning. Lexa locked the door after that and Clarke thinks she will never forget to lock it again. At the time Octavia barged in Lexa had been between Clarkes legs. She went red with embarrassment but soon got over it when Clarke started returning the favour. Clarke chuckles at the memory. This makes Lexa roll over and rub her eyes. She smiles up at Clarke. Clarke leans down and kisses her

"Good morning Klark" Lexa said through a yawn. Clarke thinks Lexa is extra cute in the mornings. It makes her smile

"Good morning leksa" Lexa cupped Clarkes chin. 

"What is wrong Ai hodnes" Clarke sighed

"I'm just wondering what you have decided" 

"I do not know Klark I am quite lost. I like the freedom of not being heda. But I feel lost when I am not heda" she said quietly 

"What do you want?" Clarke asked

"You" Clarke smiled at her and gave her a sweet kiss

"Well you have me so what else do you want leksa" Lexa looked into Clarkes sky blue eyes and thought of a future with Clarke. She smiled at the thought. "What? Where did you go right now " Clarke said as she leant down and kissed her lightly on the lips again

"I want a future with you klark. A family that can grow up in peace. A future that all people can live in peace. I believe that my work as heda is not done and there is still work to be done. I have enjoyed it here on some level. I have made new friends and it has been nice not having the responsibility of our people sitting heavy on my shoulders but even then I was thinking of how to make Arcadia run better, what improvements need to be done. What can be traded. My mind has been trained since I was young to command I can not just simply switch it off" Lexa sighed. "I want the nightblood children to have a choice on whether or not they want to lead. To give them that choice I must continue my job as heda, did you know aden wants to be a healer like you?" Clarke smiled

"Sha" Lexa looked away

"I understand klark if you would like to stay"

"That's not happening leksa" Clarke rolled her eyes 

"Klark?" Lexa moved so she was straddling Clarke. She moved her Clarkes hands above her head and kissed her. "I will not be mad if you choose to stay. I would miss you greatly but I know how much you love these people and I will not make you choose" Clarke leans forward and kissed Lexa 

"I'm going with you leksa either I come with you when you leave or I'll just find my own way there" Clarke said firmly. Lexa sat up still straddling Clarkes hips. Clarke moved her hands up and down lexas thighs "what are you thinking leksa?"

"Why do you have to fight me on every issue?" Lexa huffed. Clarke rolled her eyes

"Why do you have to fight me on ever issue?" Clarke mimicked 

"I want you to be happy and safe klark"

"And I want the same thing for you leksa" Lexa shook her head and moved to get off Clarke but Clarke held her firmly in place "no you don't just get to leave halfway through a discussion like this leksa" Clarke sat up and started kissing lexas neck. 

"Are you going to do what I ask to keep you safe?" Leksa asked with her eyes closed enjoying the attention Clarke is giving her neck. Clarke pulled back and kissed her on the lips

"Probably not" Clarke starting kissing Lexa on the neck again

"Klark!" Lexa groaned half annoyed and half tuned on. Clarke laughed and put her arms around lexas waiste she leaned her forehead on Lexa.

"Leksa if you want a family and a future with me then I kind of have to be there with you for that" she raised an eyebrow. "Look would it make you feel better if I trained?"

"You would do that?" Lexa asked

"Of course leksa" Lexa kissed Clarke 

"Are you sure you want to do this Klark"

"Absolutely" they both smiled at each other and kissed. Just as they were start to have another love making session they were interrupted by loud banging on the door. Lexa moved towards the door and swung it open. Octavia pushed passed her in a frantic state.

"Lexa something is wrong with the baby" Lexa calmly walked toward Octavia. 

"What happened?" Clarke asked

"I felt something it felt weird!" Lexa moved towards her and put her hand on her stomach. 

"She is ok Octavia. She is happy and still healthy" Octavia didn't looked convinced 

"Are you sure?" Lexa nodded. 

"Positive. I believe what you felt was her moving" Octavia looked shocked

"That makes sense O it's around bout this time they start moving" Clarke said. Octavia let out a relieved sigh

"Phew ok"

"Yeah you almost overreacted or something" Clarke chuckled

"Shut up princess" Octavia playfully said and left. Clarke moved up to Lexa and put her arms around her shoulders. She smiled. 

"I love you leksa"

"And I you Klark"


	24. Chapter 24

Lexa knocked on Ravens door. 

"Come in" she heard Raven say. Lexa pushed the door open and saw Raven sitting on the bed rubbing her leg

"Hello little black bird" Raven looked up and smiled

"Raccoon" Raven said back. Lexa moved towards the bed and started rubbing Ravens leg. 

"How bad is it today" Lexa asked softly

"Pretty bad" Raven replied honestly 

"Raven Abby was telling me she might be able to fix this. Why have you not done it yet" Raven sighed 

"Cause it might not work and I don't wanna get my hopes up" she shrugged. 

"I understand but I have to agree with Abigail as much as it hurts me to do so. I think it is worth the risk little bird. It might not work completely but it may lessen the pain a little and a little less pain is better then this" Raven looks away

"You annoy me" Raven says with watery eyes 

"Yes and how do you think I feel you are making me agree with Abigail kom Skaikru" Lexa said with a smirk. Raven laughed. "I came here to ask you something" Lexa said seriously 

"Ok" Raven looked worried

"I am going back to Polis. I will be commander again, Clarke is coming with me and I could use someone like you back in Polis" Raven grinned

"You want me to go with you to make me work" Lexa rolled her eyes knowing that Raven was trying to get a reaction from her 

"Yes" she lied.

"Hmm but I can work here" Lexa looked away and clenched her jaw, Raven mock surrenders "oh no your doing that jaw thing again!" Lexa glared at her. She cleared her throat. And mumbled

"I like you" Raven grinned and held her hand up to her ear

"I'm sorry what I didn't hear you" Lexa rolled her eyes 

"I like you, you annoying little black bird" Raven chuckled "your like the sister I never wanted" Raven hit her with the pillow 

"Ha ha so your a funny raccoon now are you?" Lexa laughed

"Think about it. And the operation as well"

"Can you find Abby and send her to me?" 

"You can not be serious"

"My leg is sore" Raven pouted and started rubbing her leg. 

"I will tell klark to tell Abigail" Raven laughed as she left.

.................…….............

Lexa found Clarke and Aden in the med bay. Clarke was teaching Aden about one of the machines she knows nothing about. He looked at ease. When he noticed that she was in the room he stopped talking and ran over to her and hugged her around the waist.

"Leksa the things that the Skaikru have here is beyond anything I could have imagined!" She ruffled his hair

"I know" she walked over to Clarke and gave her a kiss.

"Did you ask her leksa" Lexa nodded.

"Abigail Raven summons you" 

"We don't summon people here Lexa" Abby shook her head in annoyance 

"What do you call it then when a person asks for your presence?" Abby shrugged

"It's not summoning it sounds so official"

"It is official Abigail. Raven kom Skaikru officially requires your presence" Lexa snapped.

"Why don't you talk properly" Abby asks throwing her hands in the air 

"I do talk properly you seem to be the only one who does not understand me Abigail perhaps it is because you do not listen" 

"Ok ok both of you stop" says Clarke "mom raven needs you" Abigail left in a huff "why don't you get along with her?" She asked Lexa 

"She is overbearing Ai hodnes" Clarke laughed 

"Yes she is but that is who she is and she is my mother so she isn't going anywhere so maybe find some common ground please" Clarke leant forward and kissed her

"Fine" 

"Leksa when do you want to leave" asks Aden

"If Raven decideds to have the operation then after that" 

"Ok keep me updated so I can let the warriors know" she nodded as he left.

.................……........

Clarke and Lexa made there way to the delinquents hand in hand. They were sitting round the fire laughing and goofying around and stopped as they both reached the area. Lexa sits down on the log and Clarke sits on her lap.

"Hey guys" Clarke said they all say hi. "So listen I'm going back to Polis with Lexa"

"Oh you are leaving Lexa?" Said Harper 

"Yeah why do you have to go" said monty 

"Yeah don't go Lexa" said Jasper. Clarke laughed

"Wow thanks for the love guys" they all laughed with her.

"I will be heda again. My job is not done" she stated. 

"Can we come?" Asked Harper

"Yeah that would be so cool" said Jasper 

"I agree" said monty

"Agree with what" said Octavia as her and Lincoln made there way around the fire.

"Lexa is leaving to become heda O, we wannna go to Polis too" said Monroe 

"That sounds awesome!" Said O excitedly. Raven limps her way to the group.

"Do we like get any privileges cause we are friends with the commander, like can we get away with stuff raccoon" said Raven with a grin as she sat down next to Clarke and Lexa. Lexa rolled her eyes

"Little bird I have to save all the privileges I can for when klark does something that will surely not be to my liking or the coalitions" all the delinquents burst out in laughter. Clarke glared at Lexa 

"She does seem to get herself in a lot of mess!" Said Bellamy as he sat down next to Octavia. "What are we taking about?" Asked Bellamy 

"The raccoon is going back to Polis to be commander again we all want to go" 

"What? your leaving Lexa?" He said shocked

"You all know I'm leaving too right" asked Clarke amused.

"Shhhh Clarke the grown ups are talking" said Raven. Lexa hid her face in Clarkes shoulder and hid her laughs.

"Sha Bellamy I have a duty" 

"Well I'll go where ever my sister goes" he shrugs

"Octavia it would be an honour to train your child" said Lexa sincerely 

"Ok only if you will spar with me heda" said Octavia 

"Sha" Lexa smiled. While the chattering was happening around them Clarke nuzzled into lexas neck. Raven elbowed Lexa to get her attention. 

"I'm going to have the surgery" Lexa nodded

"That's great ray" said Clarke as she kissed lexas neck. 

"Yeah I want to come to Polis" 

"I am glad" Lexa said smiling 

Clarke stood up and held out her hand to let to help Lexa up. As they walked away Lexa looked back at the delinquents and felt something strange

"I think I care about them klark" Clarke laughed and stopped to look at Lexa. Lexa genuinely looked confused by the feeling. Clarke thought it was cute. She cupped lexas cheeks

"They care about you too leksa" she threw her arms around Lexa shoulders and Lexa hugged her back. 

"I think I was suppose to be here Klark. I think I was suppose to meet them. I think it is fate, just as it was to meet you." Clarke kissed her. She stopped when her friend started yelling and whistling telling them to get a room. Clarke rolled her eyes and led Lexa back to her room. Tomorrow they get ready for their new beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it guys. There is defs room for a part 2 if wanted by people. It would be lexas return to Polis. This has been heaps of fun to write. I'll be happy to continue this story if it will be read. If not I would be happy to leave it there as well

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you all think


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